Book of Tangents

found poetry

2012-02-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

from: "inside the landslide" popular science, feb 2012, pg. 28

"in the room, he blows air over a small water reservoir that he keeps at 65 degrees. he then channels water vapor up a chimney and into a cat's cradle of strings, where the vapor crystallizes. when he plucks the strings, snowflakes fall."

[calling to mind a weather-generating musical instrument, perhaps.]

from: "did global warming destroy my hometown?" by seth fletcher, popular science, feb 2012, pg. 35

"a dark blob half a mile wide congealed and dropped from the clouds. as it touched the ground, it filled with sparks from ruptured power lines, like a jar of fireflies."

from: "mobile anarchy" by raina feger, street sheet, jan 2012, pg. 5

"bus zooms by with its cargo of misfits and the terminally employed. mobile anarchy crawling thru the ten ... newspapers laugh ... bored college student eats suicide-dipped strawberries while his friend, curves in the shape of genius, complains about permissive hypocrisy and her grade."

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

2012-01-29T16:05:00.001-08:00

(while she was using mini-sausages to make pigs in a blanket)

she: oh my goodness i have eczema and in the winter it gets really bad and my hands dry out. the juice from these sausages is getting into the cracks and it hurts really bad!

me: ... so you're getting beef juice into your cracks? that's too bad.

she: you're gross.

me: it could've been worse. i could have said you were getting sausage juice in your cracks.

bystanders: what are you guys talking about?

the university of kafka

2012-01-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

i've decided to go back to college! and because it has been 10 years since i last applied for admission at a college, i'm already in over my head:

-oh man i'm so confused
-they're telling me to fill out a prerequisite equivalency form so i don't have to take placement tests
-because i already took classes at a college or university
-but in order to fill out the form, i have to fill it out for the specific course i want to waive the prereq for
-but i don't know which class i need to waive it for until i go see a counselor to pick my classes
-but i can't see a counselor until i take an orientation workshop
-AND I CAN'T TAKE THE ORIENTATION WORKSHOP UNTIL I'VE TAKEN MY PLACEMENT EXAMS

this does not bode well. applying rusty problem-solving skills in 3, 2, 1,

railed!

2012-01-06T14:17:00.000-08:00

i have been chosen as the featured poet for the month of january over at the railroad phttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifoetry project which has put up ten of my poems. later on this month there will be a critique of these poems by the editor of the magazine, as well as an interview with me. thanks goes to kyrsten bean, who pointed me in the direction of this great magazine!

the anti-capitalist bible :: new testament

2011-12-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

matthew:
3:4 starts with a description of john the baptist, who wore clothes of camel's hair and ate locusts and wild honey. he was a visual protest against wealth, demonstrating his holiness through his poverty. in chapter four, jesus is tempted by satan in the desert. verse 8 says, "again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 'all this i will give to you,' he said, 'if you will bow down and worship me.'" Chapter 6, verses 1-4 are labeled "giving to the needy" as acts of righteousness. "do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." (6:19) "you cannot serve both god and money." (6:24) in chapter 9, tax collectors are explicitly considered to be sinners, by the very nature of their job. at the calling of the disciples, they were instructed "do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts ... for the worker is worth his keep." (10:9-10) in the parable of the sower, the seeds that are thrown among the thorns are choked by "the deceitfulness of wealth." (13:22) "what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (16:26) matthew 17:24-27 tells about the temple tax, a tax to the kings of the earth from which the sons of kings are exempt. a bit harshly, jesus tells his followers to treat someone who sins against you as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (18:17) this is followed immediately by the parable of the unmerciful servant, in which jesus teaches us to forgive debts (18:21-35)

"jesus answered, 'if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor.'" (19:21) "i tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god." (19:23) "jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. he overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 'it is written,' he said to them, 'my house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers.'" (21:12) jesus goes on to equate tax collectors with prostitutes. (21:31) as a brief aside, jesus says, "the teachers of the law and the pharisees sit in moses's seat. so you must obey them and do everything they tell you. but do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. they tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them." (23:2-4) "woe to you, blind guides! you say if anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing, but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath." (23:16) the story wraps up with the ultimate act of betrayal: judas betrays jesus for money.

mark:
2:15 tax collectors, robber, and prostitutes are "sinners" under mosaic law. according to the NIV study bible, tax collectors could not serve as witnesses or judges and were expelled from synagogues. their disgrace extended to their families. as in matthew, jesus ordered his disciples to take no possessions or money with them. (6:8) mark 7:20-23 specifically says that greed is evil. "you know the commandments ... 'do not defraud.'" (10:19) the story of jesus clearing out the temple of merchants is found again in mark 11:12-19. the widow's offering: "jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. many rich people threw in large amounts. but a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. calling his disciples to him, jesus said, 'i tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. they all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything -- all she had to live on.'" (12:41-44)

luke:
mary sings a song for god, saying, "he has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. he has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty." (1:52-53) "john answered, 'the man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.' tax collectors also came to be baptized. 'teacher,' they asked, 'what should we do?' 'don't collect any more than you are required to,' he told them. them some soldiers asked him, 'and what should we do?' he replied, 'don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely -- be content with your pay.'" (3:11-14) jesus preached, "blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of god." (6:20) "but woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort." (6:24) "give to everyone who asks you." (6:30) "and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. then your reward will be great." (6:35) "the good news is preached to the poor." this was included in a list of amazing things that messengers were supposed to report to john, a list that included raising the dead. (7:22) "the seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches, and pleasures, and they do not mature." (8:14) in chapter ten, the disciples are sent out to travel without money. and later on jesus says, woe to you for tithing but ignoring justice. (11:42) jesus tells a parable of a rich fool, warning, "watch out! be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (12:15) "sell your possessions and give to the poor." (12:33) "but when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed." (14:13-14) in 16:14, the pharisees are shown as lovers of money, but what is highly valued among men is detestable in god's sight.

there is a parable in luke 16 about the rich man and lazarus. lazarus was a beggar who fed off the scraps from the rich man's table. when they both died, lazarus was taken to heaven while the rich man burned in hell and begged for the slightest drop of water to quench his thirst. luke 19: zacchaeus, the chief tax collector, was very wealthy, but after hearing jesus preach he gave away half of his wealth and paid back four times the amount if he had cheated anybody out of anything. in luke, jesus is arrested and accused of subverting the nation and tax resistance.

john:
in this telling of clearing the temple, jesus says, "how dare you turn my father's house into a market!" (2:16) the book of john also illustrates how jesus tailored his message for populist workers' movements (4:35) for reapers, sowers, and fishermen. "but one of the disciples, judas iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected. 'why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? it was worth a year's wages.' he did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as a keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it." (12:4-6)

acts:
acts 2:45 and 4:32-37 are examples of how communistic the early church was, as the believers sold all they had and gave to anyone who had need. ananias and sapphira were struck down by god for holding back public money in chapter 5. in chapter 6, the disciples leap into action when they hear that widows are being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. at the end of chapter 9 and the beginning of chapter 10, acts tells of tabitha and a centurion named cornelius, both considered righteous for their generosity to the poor. in 16:16, paul and silas do magical battle against a demon-possessed fortune teller, who is being used to make a lot of money for her owners. acts 19:23 tells of how paul's conversion of a great many people led to a drop in idol worship. this led to a drop in demand for silver, and the silversmiths of ephesus began to riot. "i have not coveted anyone's silver or gold or clothing. you yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. in everything i did, i showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the lord jesus himself said: 'it is more blessed to give than to receive.'" paul sets the example of a worker. (20:33-35)

romans:
"you who preach against stealing, do you steal? you who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? who who abhor idols, do you rob temples? you who brag about the law, do you dishonor god by breaking the law?" (2:21-23) "therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin." (3:20) "and where there is no law, there is no transgression." (4:15) paul seems to be preaching here some strange breed of anarchism. "now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation." (4:4) paul has a list of "gifts of the spirit," one of which is "contributing to the needs of others."(12:8)

corinthians:
"he chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things -- and the things that are not -- to nullify the things that are." (power to the lowly) (1 cor 1:28) the apostles of christ are homeless (1 cor 5:11) "the very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. why not rather be wronged? why not rather be cheated? instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers." (6:7-8) the apostle's rights, listed in chapter 9, sound much like a worker's rights, among which are: "don't we have the right to food and drink?" (9:4) "or is it only i and barnabas who must work for a living? who serves as a soldier at his own expense? who plants a vineyard and does not eat of its grapes? who tends a flock and does not drink of the milk?" (9:6-7) "nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." (10:24) "unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of god for profit." (2 cor 2:17) second corinthians 8:1-15 and 9:6-15 are all about encouraging generosity.

ephesians:
"he who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need." (4:28)

philippians:
"i know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (4:12)

timothy:
a deacon should be "not a lover of money" (1 tim 3:3) and "not pursuing dishonest gain." (1 tim 3:8) "the worker deserves his wages." (1 tim 5:18) the passage of chapter 6, verses 3-10 is about how money is evil, "for the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." (1 tim 6:10) "the hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops." (2 tim 2:6) in the last days, "people will be lovers of themselves, loves of money." (2 tim 3:2)

hebrews:
"you sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions." (10:34) "they went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted, and mistreated -- the world was not worthy of them." (11:37-38) "keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have." (13:5)

james:
"the brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. but the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. for the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. in the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business." (1:9-11) "religion that god our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress." (1:27) james 2:1-3 says not to show favoritism to the rich. "now listen, you who say, 'today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. what is your life? you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (4:13-14)

a warning to the rich: "now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. your gold and silver are corroded. their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. you have hoarded wealth in the last days. look! the wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the lord almighty. you have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. you have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter." (5:1-5)

peter:
"for you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers." (1 peter 1:18-19)

jude:
"woe to them! they have taken the way of cain; they have rushed for profit into balaam's error; they have been destroyed in korah's rebellion." (verse 11)

revelation:
"you say, 'i am rich; i have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' but you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked." (3:17) one of the four seals broken to unleash torment and hell upon earth results in price-gouging in chapter 6, verse 6. the apocalypse in revelation is also marked by a commercial monopoly, in chapter 13, verse 17. the fall of babylon is described as, "the kings of the earth committed adultery with her, and the merchants of the earth grew rich from her excessive luxuries." (18:3) "the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her because no one buys their cargoes any more." (18:11-17)

america --
how can we be a christian and a capitalist nation? we can be one or the other, or neither, but not both.

the anti-capitalist bible :: old testament

2011-12-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

"christ, in fact, preached complete communism and anarchy." -tolstoy

genesis:
"now lot, who went with abram, also had flocks and herds and tents, so that the land could not support both of them living together; for their possessions were so great that they could not live together, and there was strife between the herders of abram's livestock and the herders of lot's livestock." (13:6-7) abram and lot part ways because of their wealth, which leads to the destruction of two cities, the death of lot's wife, and drunken incest with his daughters.

the story of jacob and esau starts with jacob cheating esau out of his inheritance in chapter 25. when esau realizes what has been done, jacob is forced to flee for his life to his uncle laban, but ends of cheating him as well. in chapter 30, the two of them agree that jacob will be paid only with spotted or speckled livestock, while laban keeps the pure white sheep. but jacob uses some genetic manipulation to not only increase his flock, but to secure the strongest and healthiest animals for himself. after six years, jacob has stolen all of laban's wealth and flees back to his parents again.

jacob is regarded in the bible as a cultural hero who achieves his victories through underhanded means, but it's more likely that he was just kind of a dick.

deception seems to run in jacob's family. in chapter 37, jacob's sons are jealous of joseph, the favorite. "then judah said to his brothers, 'what profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? come, let us sell him to the ishmaelites, and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.' and his brothers agreed." (37:26-27) after selling their brother into slavery, the sons of jacob deceived their father into believing that joseph had been killed by a wild animal.

joseph winds up in egypt and rises through the ranks until the pharaoh put him in charge of stockpiling grain. genesis 47:13-26 shows joseph steadily gathering up wealth. he bleeds all of egypt and canaan dry, first by gathering all of the money in those two countries as payment for the first year's supply of grain. then when the money was gone, people offered all of their livestock for another year of food. during the third year, he demanded their land and their bodies, acquiring all of the land for pharaoh, with slaves already in place to work it. on top of that he demanded one-fifth of every harvest for tribute. the result of his actions brought everyone into slavery to the state, including his own family, who would later become the enslaved israelite nation found in exodus.

exodus:
this book opens with the israelites still in slavery to the egyptians. moses is born to a slave but adopted by royalty. despite having a privileged upbringing, he still identifies with the israelites and kills an egyptian man to protect a slave. by chapter 3, moses has left his wealth and status and becomes a shepherd. he is then called to free the slaves and lead them to a utopian land of milk and honey. moses is, in all appearances, a populist hero of a working class.

at the first sign of workforce uprising, the pharaoh said, "you shall no longer give the people straw to make bricks, as before; let them go and gather straw for themselves. but you shall require of them the same quantity of bricks as they have made previously; do not diminish it, for they are lazy; that is why they cry, 'let us go and offer sacrifice to our god.' let heavier work be laid on them; then they will labor at it and pay no attention to deceptive words." (5:7-9)

after winning their freedom, the israelites "asked the egyptians for jewelry of silver and gold, and for clothing, and the lord had given the people favor in the sight of the egyptians, so that they let them have what they asked. and so they plundered the egyptians," (12:35-36) redistributing the wealth.

exodus 13:19 says, "and moses took with him the bones of joseph who had required a solemn oath of the israelites, saying, "god will surely take notice of you, and then you must carry my bones with your from here," despite the fact that he was the one who enslaved them in the first place.

when moses received the ten commandments, he also received a whole shitload of other laws, including the following: "you shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien, for you were aliens in the land of egypt. you shall not abuse any widow or orphan. if you do abuse them, when they cry out to me, i will surely heed their cry; my wrath will burn, and i will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows, and your children orphans. if you lend money to my people, to the poor among you, you shall not deal with them as a creditor; you shall not exact interest from them," (22:21-25) "you shall not pervert the justice due to your poor in their lawsuits," (23:6) "for six years you shall sow your land and gather in its yield; but the seventh year you shall let it rest and lie fallow, so that the poor of your people may eat ... you shall do the same with your vineyard, and with your olive orchard." (23:10-11) god handed down many laws protecting the poor.

meanwhile, as moses was getting these laws, everyone else was down the mountain, melting down their jewelry into a golden calf and worshiping it. worshiping gold. and they were immediately plagued for it.

deuteronomy:
this book is a list of laws. all of chapter 15 is about canceling debts and helping the poor, with commandments like, "do not be hard-hearted or tight-fisted toward your needy neighbor," (15:7) and, "give liberally and be ungrudging when you do." (15:10)

joshua:
the israelites were on a rampage of conquest throughout the land of canaan, winning battle after battle, until they came to the town of ai, where they were defeated. in chapter 7, god tells joshua that he lost the battle because someone had hoarded some spoils of war. "and achan answered joshua 'it is true; i am the one who sinned against the lord. this is what i did: when i saw among the spoil a beautiful mantle and two hundred shekels of silver, and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels, then i coveted them and took them." (7:20-21) "then joshua and all israel with him too achan son of zerah, with the silver, the mantle, and the bar of gold, with his sons and daughters, with his oxen, donkeys, and sheep, and his tent and all that he had; and they brought them up to the valley of achor. joshua said, "why did you bring trouble on us? the lord is bringing trouble on you today." and all israel stoned him to death; they burned them with fire, cast stones on them, and raised over him a great heap of stones that remains to this day." (7:24-26)

judges:
the judges of israel were heroes who saved israel every time the nation fell into idolatry. gideon was one of these judges and was asked to become israel's king. gideon refused and asked each of the israelites for a gold earring, which he melted down and made into a golden ephod (a type of vestment). "and all israel prostituted themselves to it there, and it became a snare to gideon and to his family." (8:27)

ruth:
the entire book of ruth is set against the socialized food program for the alien, poor, widow, and alien, as outlined in exodus. ruth, an alien in israel, walks behind the reapers in a barley field and gleans grains in order to survive. boaz, the rich owner of the field, instructed his workers, "you must also pull out some handfuls for her from the bundles and leave them for her to glean," (2:16) so that ruth could gather more food for herself. a book of generosity toward strangers.

samuel:
1 samuel is filled with a bunch of greedy assholes: the priest eli had two sons who were supposed to make their living on a portion of the offerings brought by the people to the temple but, instead, they stole the larger, choicer portions of food for themselves and threatened violence against their own congregation. (2:11-25) samuel also had two sons "yet his sons did not follow in his ways, but turned aside after gain; they took bribes and perverted justice." (8:3) samuel prophesied against what a monarchy would bring to the people, warning that the king would take the best of the people's animals, land, and crops and give it to his courtiers. "he will take one-tenth of your flocks and you shall be his slaves. and in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves; but the lord will not answer you in that day." (8:17-18) in chapter 15, the first king of israel, saul, hoards plunder after a battle, to which god responds with, "i regret that i made saul king," (15:11) and saul is eventually killed by his enemies after falling out of god's favor.

kings:
king solomon was asked in a dream what he should be given by god. he asked for wisdom. god said, "because you have asked this, and not asked for yourself long life or riches, or for the life of your enemies...i now do according to your word." (3:11-12) solomon ends up becoming rich, anyway. king rehoboam succeeded solomon, but, "when king rehoboam sent adoram, who was taskmaster over the forced labor, all israel stoned him to death. king rehoboam then hurriedly mounted his chariot to flee to jerusalem." (12:18) a man named jeroboam led the rebellion, but then went and made two calves of gold (12:28) which caused god to wither up his hand. ahab later becomes king, and is ultimately cursed for stealing another man's vineyard when it wouldn't be sold to him. (chapter 21)

on a lighter note, in 2 kings the prophet elisha performs a miracle in order to save a widow from creditors who were coming to take her two children away as slaves. he caused a single jar of oil to fill all of the empty vessels that she could borrow, and then told her to sell the oil and pay off her creditors. (chapter 4)

nehemiah:
as governor, nehemiah helped the poor, redistributing the wealth and returning to them their lands and goods that had been taken from them as interest on loans. (chapter 5) the nation also returns to the old law of cancelling all debts on the seventh year (10:31)

job:
the parable of job is a familiar story, wherein satan claims that job only worships god because he has been blessed with wealth. god strikes down job, inflicting him with sickness, kills his children, and has bandits steal all of his wealth, and yet job still remains faithful to who he is. the book of job illustrates identity without wealth or property.

psalms:
psalm 10 says, "in arrogance the wicked persecute the poor -- let them be caught in the schemes they have devised. for the wicked boast of the desires of their heart, those greedy for gain curse and renounce the lord," (verses 2 and 3) "they lurk that they may seize the poor; they seize the poor and drag them off in their net." (verse 9) psalm 15 says, "o lord, who may abide in your tent? those ... who do not lend money at interest, who do not take a bribe against the innocent." (verses 1 and 5) psalms tells us that riches mean nothing: "do not be afraid when some become rich, when the wealth of their houses increases. for when they die they will carry nothing away; their wealth will not go down after them." (49:16-17) "the righteous will see, and fear, and will laugh at the evildoer, saying, 'see the one who would not take refuge in god, but trusted in abundant riches, and sought refuge in wealth!'" (52:6-7) god condemned lesser deities to death, saying, "give justice to the weak and the orphan; maintain the right of the lowly and the destitute. rescue the weak and the needy." (82:3-4) a poetic view is, "the idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. they have mouths, but they do not speak; they have eyes, but they do not see; they have ears, but they do not hear, and there is no breath in their mouths. those who make them and all who trust them shall become like them." (135: 15-18)

proverbs:
wisdom is more valuable than gold, "happy are those who find wisdom, and those who get understanding, for her income is better than silver, and her revenue is better than gold. she is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her." (2:13-15) "treasures gained by wickedness do not profit," (10:2) and "a false balance is an abomination to the lord, but an accurate weight is his delight." (11:1) again, wealth is worthless as "riches do not profit in the day of wrath." (11:4) always remember charity, because "some give freely, yet grow all the richer; others withhold what is due, and only suffer want." (11:24) and "those who trust in their riches will wither." (11:28) "wealth is a ransom for a person's life, but the poor get no threats." (13:8) "the field of the poor may yield much food, but it is swept away through injustice." (13:23) "those who despise their neighbors are sinners, but happy are those who are kind to the poor." (14:21) "those who oppress the poor insult their maker, but those who are kind to the needy honor him." (14:31) "better is a little with righteousness than large income with injustice." (16:8) "the appetite of workers works for them; their hunger urges them on," (16:26) which calls to mind amiri baraka's observation that, "the rich can afford to eat more food, therefore the rich are more full of shit." "better the poor walking in integrity than one perverse of speech who is a fool. desire without knowledge is not good." (19:1-2) "oppressing the poor in order to enrich oneself, and giving to the rich, will lead only to loss." (22:16) "do not wear yourself out to get rich; be wise enough to desist." (23:4) "one who augments wealth by exorbitant interest gathers it for another who is kind to the poor," (28:8) which is the same as 13:22. "one who is in a hurry to be rich will not go unpunished." (28:20) "whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing but one who turns a blind eye will get many a curse." (28:27) "the righteous know the rights of the poor; the wicked have no such understanding." (29:7)

ecclesiastes:
this nihilistic book goes on and on about how nothing matters because you're just going to die anyway. it's one of my favorite books of the bible. it says things like "the lover of money will not be satisfied with money, nor the lover of wealth with gain." (5:10)

isaiah:
this is a harsh criticism of a city gone corrupt. "your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. everyone loves a bribe and runs after gifts. they do not defend the orphan, and the widow's cause does not come before them." (1:23) the book of isaiah is a constant attack against gold and silver idols and at the end of the book god says, "for i am about to create a new heavens and a new earth; they shall build houses and inhabit them; they shall plant vineyards and eat their fruit. they shall not build and another inhabit; they shall not plant and another eat," (65:17, 21-22) truly, a worker's paradise.

jeremiah:
"he judged the cause of the poor and needy; then it was well. is not this to know me? says the lord." (22:16)

lamentations:
a book of poems that lament the destruction of jersualem by the babylonians. one of the lamentations is "we must pay for the water we drink; the wood we get must be bought," (5:4) an outcry against charges on basic necessities.

ezekiel:
this books seems to be prophesying some sort of end time, during which "their silver and gold cannot save them on the day of the wrath of the lord. they shall not satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it. for it was the stumbling block of their iniquity," (7:19) and so on, in that manner. "if a man is righteous and does what is lawful and right -- does not oppress anyone, but restores to the debtor his pledge, commits no robbery, gives his bread to the hungry and covers the naked with a garment, does not take advance or accrued interest, withholds his hand from iniquity; he shall surely live." (18:5,7-9) ezekiel has an extra prophecy of destruction agains the merchant city of tyre, which is to be destroyed for gloating over the fall of jerusalem, a commercial rival, and for looking forward to taking over the city's trade. (chapters 26-28)

daniel:
king belshazzar (the bad guy in this story) worshiped silver and gold (chapter 5), but shadrach, meshach, and abedneg (the good guys) refused to bow to king nebuchadnezzar's gold statue and were thrown into a furnace. (chapter 3) daniel, also, refused to worship images of gold.

hosea:
"a trader, in whose hands are false balances, he loves to oppress. ephraim has said, 'ah, i am rich, i have gained wealth for myself; in all of my gain no offense has been found in me that would be sin.' i am the lord your god from the land of egypt; i will make you live in tents again." (12:7-8) the reference to tents was a reference to israel's wilderness period and will be all that remains for them after divine punishment.

amos:
god said, "i will not revoke the punishment; because they sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals -- they who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth, and push the afflicted out of the way." (2:6) in amos 3:15, god promises to raze the tokens of conspicuous consumption: "i will tear down the winter house as well as the summer house; and the houses of ivory shall perish and the great houses shall come to an end, says the lord." this is followed by "hear this word, you cows of bashan who are on mount samaria, who oppress the poor, who crush the needy, who say to their husbands, 'bring something to drink!' the lord god has sworn by his holiness: the time is surely coming upon you," (4:1-2) which is a prophesy against israel's luxurious excess. the wealthy and greedy women of samaria would be punished along with their husbands. "therefore because you trample on the poor and take from them levies of grain, you have built houses of hewn stone, but you shall not live in them; you have planted pleasant vineyards, but you shall not drink their wine." (5:11) chapter 8 is a condemnation of their rampant capitalism: "hear this, you that trample on the needy, and bring to ruin the poor of the land, saying, 'when will the new moon be over so that we may sell grain; and the sabbath, so that we may offer wheat for sale? we will make the ephah small and the shekel great [overcharging] and practice deceit with false balances, buying the poor for silver and the needy for a pair of sandals, and selling the sweepings of the wheat.'" (8:4-6)

micah:
more prophesies of destruction against israel for not following god's laws. "all her images shall be beaten to pieces, all her wages shall be burned with fire, and all her idols i will lay waste; for as the wages of a prostitute she gathered them, and as the wages of a prostitute they shall again be used." (1:7) "its rulers give judgment for a bribe, its priests teach for a price, its prophets give oracles for money; yet they lean upon the lord and say, 'surely the lord is with us! no harm shall come upon us.' therefore because of you zion shall be plowed as a field." (3:11-12) "can i forget the treasures of wickedness in the house of the wicked, and the scant measure that is accursed? can i tolerate wicked scales and a bag of dishonest weights? your wealthy are full of of violence." (6:10-12) "their hands are skilled to do evil; the official and the judge ask for a bribe, and the powerful dictate what they desire; thus they pervert justice." (7:3)

jonah and nahum:
both of these minor books of prophecy tell the story of the fall of ninevah, whose wickedness was plundering in war and commercial exploitation

habakkuk:
"shall not everyone taunt such people and, with mocking riddles, say about them, 'alas for you who heap up what is not your own!' how long will you load yourselves with goods taken in pledge? will not your own creditors suddenly rise?" (2:6-7)

zephaniah:
this book starts with a description of the destruction of merchants and markets in chapter 1, and says, "neither their silver nor their gold will be able to save them on the day of the lord's wrath." (verse 18)

zecharaiah:
zecharaiah talks about tyre, again. god also says, "be a shepherd of the flock doomed to slaughter. those who buy them kill them and go unpunished; and those who sell them say, 'blessed be the lord, for i have become rich'; and their own shepherds have no pity on them." (11:4-5) "shepherds" being rulers, and "sheep" being the people.

malachi:
"i will be swift to bear witness against those who oppress the hired workers in their wages, the widow and the orphan, against those who thrust aside the alien and do not fear me, says the lord." (3:5)

(all citations from the new oxford annotated bible)

kaleidotrope

2011-12-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

time for some exciting science fiction news! the kaleidotrope zine has just released its final print issue, fall 2011, which includes my short story, "the printer repairman." this story is a slightly modified version of the first chapter of my novel-in-progress, the paper robot, which is making the rounds through literary agents at the moment.

jones av. again

2011-11-23T11:06:00.000-08:00

jones av. has my poem "beehive arrangement of glass" in its newest 'zine.

they've been very kind to me. this is either the third or fourth poem of mine that they've accepted! thanks, canadians!

just a bit of human contact

2011-11-10T12:52:00.000-08:00

hello writers.

hello writers sitting in the corner of the coffee shop, while everyone else around you is having laughter-filled conversations with their friends and getting hopped up on stimulants and listening to loud music. writers, sitting cramped up over your notebooks or laptops, headphones on, isolated in a crowd. you are writing something that you'll send to 100+ magazines and for which effort you will receive only an automated rejection letter. and then, against all odds, you will get that piece published, whereupon it will be read by an audience of five. and that is your life's accomplishment.

okay writers, why is this our chosen pastime?

every once in a while though, even in a rejection letter, there is evidence that someone is reading your stuff and thinking about it at least a bit, for good or bad. Here are the few human responses i've gotten back out of over 400 rejection letters in the past couple of years:

::Dear Josh Pearce,

Thank you for sending us "do you want to be". We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not for us.

As per flashquake's guidelines, here are one to two sentences outlining why we didn't choose your piece: Evidently this poem has a message but I'm not sure what it is. I do like the images the narrator has created: the lonely car, the shopping cart, etc. I'm just not sure about the "among confused men." Keep working on this one.

Thanks again. Best of luck with this.
Sincerely,
Vivian Prescott
Flashquake

::Dear Josh Pearce,

Thank you for sending us "concentrate". We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not for us.

As per flashquake's guidelines, here are one to two sentences outlining why we didn't choose your piece: I think this little poem is trying to say something important but I'm not sure what it is. Perhaps more is better.

Thanks again. Best of luck with this.
Sincerely,
Vivian Prescott
Flashquake

::Dear Josh Pearce,

Thank you for sending us "for my next trick". We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not for us.

As per flashquake's guidelines, here are one to two sentences outlining why we didn't choose your piece: I like experimental poetry, however if I have to strive to understand it then it doesn't sit well with me. I think I'm missing something important here in the parentheses. A perfect example of where asides work is D.A. Powell's "Chronic."

Thanks again. Best of luck with this.
Sincerely,
Vivian Prescott
Flashquake

::Dear Josh,

Thank you for your recent submission to the Apple Valley Review. I'm sorry to let you know that your poems--"Elegy," "(ugliest fish)," "breeder reactors," "can't hear here the rainfall," "enthusiastic bright," and "flowerpot"--were not accepted for publication.

However, this is a particularly subjective business, and I always appreciate the opportunity to read new work. Please feel free to submit again in the future. (There were a few lines from "(ugliest fish)" that I liked quite a bit, and in case it is helpful, I've left them below.)

Thanks again for thinking of us.

Best wishes,

Leah

::Thank you for your submission to Big Lucks. Unfortunately, it's not what we're looking for at the moment. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck in the future.

-The Editors
http://biglucks.com

Note: There were great parts to these poems. Although they weren't fitting into our issue, I thank you for letting me read them. Keep writing and submitting.
Sincerely,
Laura S.
Poetry Editor

::Thank you for your submission. Due to the high volume of submissions, we may not be able to respond to all.

::Dear Joshua Pearce-- Hello and Equinox greetings to you from the contact editor at The Centrifugal Eye.

Sorry to say we’re releasing your poems to you without an acceptance. We were rather charmed by the idea of light across the artichoke fields! And I was intrigued by your typographical title treatment, which invited me into the poems.

May your poems speedily find a good home elsewhere. And best wishes for your continued writing success.

Kindly,
Karla

::Although this material does not meet our needs at this time, we appreciate your thinking of Chiron Review.

I don't always share my editors' comments, unless I think they may be helpful. Gerry can be very encouraging and helpful, and this is what he said: "No, he's at a valuable stage, that of trying to learn from favorite authors, such as in this case, Cummings, and he should keep doing that with all the poets he comes across and would like to learn something from, keep writing a lot under lots on influences, and one of these days he will wake up with his own distinctive, confident voice, and it may not be that far off in the future. For now, keep reading, keep writing, keep learning, keep the faith with your own potential, your future."

You are welcome to try again though we are asking writers to limit their submissions to four times a year or less. (Also note that we never consider simultaneous submissions for poetry or fiction.)

To keep in touch, visit http://chironreview.com.

We wish you the very best.

Chiron Review
Michael Hathaway, Ed.
522 E. South Ave.
St. John, KS 67576-2212

::Thank you for your submission to Big Lucks. Unfortunately, it's not what we're looking for at the moment. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck in the future.

-The Editors
http://biglucks.com

NOTE: Thank you again for your submissions. Although I see great thoughtfulness in each piece, they just haven't fit into issues of Big Lucks. Please do keep submitting them to find good homes for each of them! Good luck!

Laura S.
Poetry Editor

::Dear Joshua – Summer greetings to you from the contact editor at The Centrifugal Eye.

Sorry to say we’re releasing your poems to you without an acceptance. Alas, they weren’t quite the right match for us. I particularly enjoyed your sense of the workings of nature as in “an elm sleeps.”

May your poems find a good home elsewhere. And best wishes for your continued creative success.

Kindly,
Karla

::Dear Joshua,

Thank you for your submitting your poems to us. Unfortunately, they are not what we are looking for at this time. However, you mentioned in your email that your short fiction is appearing in another magazine. If you have any short stories you would like to submit to us, we would be very happy to consider them.

Sincerely,
Michael Matheny
Senior Editor

::Dear Josh Pearce,

Thank you for submitting "The Dragon Queen of Mars" to Strange Horizons, but we've decided not to accept it for publication. There's nothing particularly wrong with this story; it just felt a little too focused (for my tastes) on the cleverness of its premise and on the details of the tech by which she survives.

But we appreciate your interest in our magazine.

--Jed

::Dear Josh,

Thanks for submitting this story, but I'm going to pass on it. It's nicely written and I enjoyed reading it, but overall it didn't quite win me over, I'm afraid. Best of luck to you placing this one elsewhere, and thanks again for sending it my way. I look forward to seeing your next submission.

Sincerely,

John Joseph Adams
Editor
Lightspeed Magazine

:Dear Josh,

Thank you for the opportunity to read "Wiseclock Revolution." Unfortunately, your story was close, but not quite what we're looking for right now. Each month, we receive hundreds of submissions and while I may like many of them, I can only publish twelve of them per year.

I appreciate your interest in Clarkesworld Magazine and hope that you'll send us another story soon.

Take care,

Neil Clarke
Publisher/Editor
Clarkesworld Magazine

::Thank you for submitting to Andromeda Spaceways.

Unfortunately, while we liked your submission, so far we
have not found a place for it ... and it is against
our policy to hold onto a story indefinitely. Much as we'd
like to, we just don't have the room to print all the stories
we get -- not even all the good ones. So sadly, I'm going
to have to very reluctantly let this one go.

If it got this far, you can rest assured that your story
is of high quality and you should be able to find a home
for it. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Better luck next time!

I have supplied some notes from the readers, in case you find them useful.
(All these are only the opinions of the readers.)

--------
Interesting story. One I would like to see in print.
-------
Hope that's of some help, and better luck next time!

Robbie

Andromeda Spaceways: We'll get you there ... sooner or later.
Generated by Slush-O-Matic 1.56 28-Jul-2009

::Dear Josh,

Thanks for sending your story to On Spec. After giving it a thorough reading, we have determined that it won't be a good fit for our magazine. We look for a unique combination of characters, plot, setting and emotion, and we will buy less than 5% of all the stories we receive. It's an interesting concept, but we are not convinced that your writing actually carries it off. Keep working on it.

If you haven't yet seen a copy of On Spec, visit our website and read a free pdf of one of our issues. This might give you a better idea of the kind of fiction we usually buy.

Thanks for giving us an opportunity to see your work. Best wishes with your writing.

The Editors, On Spec Magazine

::Joshua –

Thanks for letting us see "The Printer Repairman." Sorry, I didn't see much point to this story.

Best of luck with this one in other markets.

- Sharon Reamer
- Assistant Editor
- Allegory

::Greetings:

Thank you for your submission of "The Printer Repairman" to MindFlights. We regret to inform you that we cannot use your submission at this time.

This response to you is automatically generated. However, we believe in providing feedback with our declines in the hopes of clarifying our decision and/or helping the author continue to grow as a writer. If you do not want to receive feedback, please do not read any further.

Following are excerpts from the editorial team's discussion about this submission. Each team member's remarks are separated by a row of asterisks Also, following the last excerpt, there may be additional comments from the team member processing this correspondence.

Specific remarks about your submission:

*****

It's interesting, but overall didn't grab me enough to want to accept.
*****
This is too edgy for MindFlights, plus it's got a typo:
Quote:
but the sweet little irony that all of the fanboys like to cream themsevles over

I found the story interesting in places. I love the idea of the white out and revisions creating a topography of the making of the book and the author's process:
Quote:
plains of his successes, the mountains of his failures.”

But overall, the story didn't win me over enough to accept and it doesn't seem like a good fit for MindFlights.

*****

Again, thank you for your submission and your interest in MindFlights. Keep in mind that the remarks and comments above are the opinions of the editorial team. Other readers may disagree.

::Dear Josh,

Thank you for letting me see "Deus Ex Parasitus." The story is nicely done, but I’m afraid it's not quite right for me. I look forward to your next one, though.

Sincerely,

Sheila Williams, editor
Asimov’s Science Fiction

PS

Dear Josh,

I just want to add that your story had one of the best opening lines I've read this year, and a great opening paragraph. Even though the story isn't right for me, I'm sure it will sell to a different editor.

Best,

Sheila

::Thank you for submitting "Sandcastles" to Apex Magazine.

Due to the volume of manuscripts received each day, we now respond to most submissions via this form. Unfortunately, I've decided to pass on this story. Listed below are the most frequent reasons we reject a submission. Any marked reasons means your story fits into that category.

[ ] Does not have an adequate speculative fiction element
[ ] Does not have an adequate horror element
[ ] Too frequently seen storyline
[x] Fails to hold interest
[ ] Poorly edited manuscript
[ ] Does not meet guidelines
[ ] Other

Best of luck placing this story elsewhere, and please feel free to submit again.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Brozek
Submissions Editor - Apex Magazine

::Dear Josh,

It's extremely hard to break into any market, and I'm afraid to say that you won't be breaking into the Aurealis market, especially with such a story as Sandcastles. It is suited directly to the US market and would hold little interest to Aurealis readers. Aurealis is one of only two markets for Australian writers in Australia and as such space quickly fills, I have filled all issues till the middle of next year already.

I'd suggest if you use www.ralan.com as your primary source of markets. You will have success in the US small press market I'm sure with this type of story.

All the best,
STUART MAYNE | EDITOR | Aurealis - Australian Fantasy & Science Fiction

::Dear Josh Pearce,
Thank you for submitting "Text Based" to Everyday Weirdness.

I like the concept, but it's not quite what I'm looking for. Please feel free to submit again.

cordially,
N.E. Lilly

::Thank you for submitting to Andromeda Spaceways.

Sadly, we find that we can't use your submission at this stage.

Thank you again, and we hope to hear from you in the future.

Notes from the readers:
--------
The idea has merit but I'm not convinced of the need to invoke Gibson himself. (In fact, I think it would work better with a fictitious author.) Mainly, though, this comes across as 'too much vignette, not enough story'.
-------
Hope that's of some help, and better luck next time!

::Josh

Cool idea, but the story postulates a conspiracy whose nature & purpose are unexplored. I find the result has too much question & too little answer for my taste.

Best,
David KM

::Dear Josh,

I read your story, and thoroughly enjoyed it, however it doesn't feel completed. I'm sorry to inform you that your story was not accepted for Apex Magazine at this point in time. I would, however like you to know that you are welcome to submit another story, or the same one revised, at any time and we would be happy to review it again.

As it says on our website: "If you are rejected, don’t get angry—instead, become more awesome. Write something better, and better, until we have to accept you, because we have been laid low by your tale. It really is that simple."

Thank you, and have a great day.

Laura Jones
Submission Editor

in this sea of overwhelming discouragement there rise one or two islands of kind words. i remained buoyed, however, by the fact that almost all of the pieces that these rejection letters refer to were accepted and published by other magazines, or that these editors who rejected my earlier efforts went on to publish others of my pieces.

crazy writers, why are you writing? it's like getting dumped every day without having break-up sex.

oakland police filmed hiding their identification while on duty

2011-11-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

11/2/2011

We ask a OPD officer why he had his name badge covered.... from BLK PXLS on Vimeo.

oakland police taping over their name badges -- acting sinister and against policy. this is common practice so that officers cannot be properly accused if they are involved in misconduct.

(via boingboing)

a brief biography

2011-10-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

name: josh
notable aliases: wacko by the bay, ghotijosh, angelo teague
religion: poetry
politics: grammar
gods of choice: thoth, cthulhu, shai hulud
paranoias/phobias: paranoid that i will grow up to be such an evil person that assassins will be sent back from the future to rid the world of my existence now, while i have no defense. phobic of swimming in water (for which the human body is poorly adapted) in which i cannot see beneath the surface, especially resulting in a shark attack.
writers worshiped: david foster wallace, vladimir nabokov, e.e. cummings
published author bios: Josh Pearce isn't a motorcycle, baby, he's a chopper.
If you say the magic word "xyzzy" to Josh Pearce, he will respond with: A hollow voice says "fool."
Josh Pearce was developed by IBM. On May 11, 1997, he won a six-game match by two wins to one with three draws against world champion Garry Kasparov.
Josh Pearce is a flexagon and has many faces.
A regular Josh Pearce cannot be constructed using compass and straightedge.
When brain tissue from a Josh Pearce is examined under a microscope, many tiny holes can be seen where whole areas of nerve cells have died. The word "spongiform" in "transmissible spongiform encephalopathies" refers to the sponge-like appearance of the brain tissue.
Josh Pearce has one eye, two ravens, and an eight-legged, flying horse.
Josh Pearce was the kings and queens of promise.
Josh Pearce, usually called Tony, is an industrialist playboy and ingenious engineer who suffers a severe heart injury during a kidnapping in which his captors attempt to force him to build a weapon of mass destruction. He instead creates a powered suit of armor to save his life and escape captivity.
Josh Pearce is a civil servant responsible for perpetuating the Party's propaganda by revising historical records to render the Party omniscient and always correct.
The name Josh Pearce literally means "co-traveler," "traveling companion," or "satellite." The first of these, Josh Pearce 1, was designed initially to carry nuclear warheads.
"Josh Pearce" is a 1951 book of eighteen science fiction short stories by Ray Bradbury that explores the nature of mankind.
Josh Pearce is a trickster character who succeeds through his wits, rather than through strength, tweaking authority figures and bending social mores as he sees fit.
Josh Pearce is a creature that appears in books and popular culture typically as a reanimated dead or a mindless human being.
Josh Pearce was so famous as a womanizer that his name remains synonymous with the art of seduction. He spent his last years in Bohemia as a librarian in Count Waldstein's household, where he also wrote the story of his life.
Josh Pearce is a small, robotic juicer with an unusual means of extracting juice.
Josh Pearce is an oil painting. Salvador Dali painted him in 1970, following the canons of his particular interpretation of surrealist thought.
Josh Pearce is a robot made out of liquid metal!
Josh Pearce is a closed, compact, convex figure whose 1-skeleton consists of groups of opposite parallel line segments aligned in each of the space's dimensions, perpendicular to each other and of the same length.
Oh Josh Pearce can't help that. We're all mad here. He's mad. You're mad.
Josh Pearce enjoys jumping on mushrooms and turtles and eating flowers.
One of the last great dragons of Middle-earth, Josh Pearce rose to prominence by laying waste to the town of Dale and capturing the Lonely Mountain with all of its treasure.
Josh Pearce belongs to the nightshade family. While he is botanically a fruit, he is considered a vegetable for culinary purposes (as well as by the United States Supreme Court, see Nix v. Hedden).

go the fuck to the library

2011-10-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

as my brother told me: "thought you might like this."

one i found very relevant was:

"Is there a place I can go to read Infinite Jest without being hounded incessantly by people that want me to buy gluten-free scones, skinny half-caff venti mochas or fair-trade coffees?

You won't be hassled by anyone if you just GO THE FUCK TO THE LIBRARY."

because i hound people who read david foster wallace.

too long to twitter

2011-10-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

again, with the quoting instead of the writing something myself. until next time:

"as a consequence of silence on these matters, we live in a country in which a person cannot get elected president if he openly doubts the existence of heaven and hell. this is truly remarkable, given that there is no other body of 'knowledge' that we require our political leaders to master. even a hairstylist must pass a licensing exam before plying his trade in the united states, and yet those given the power to make war and national policy -- those whose decisions will inevitably affect human life for generations -- are not expected to know anything in particular before setting to work. they do not have to be political scientists, economists, or even lawyers; they need not have studied international relations, military history, resource management, civil engineering, or any other field of knowledge that might be brought to bear in the governance of a modern superpower; they need only be expert fund-raisers, comport themselves well on television, and be indulgent of certain myths. in our next presidential election, an actor who reads his bible would almost certainly defeat a rocket scientist who does not. could there be any clearer indication that we are allowing unreason and otherworldliness to govern our affairs?"
-the end of faith by sam harris

and:

"this is what you shall do. love the earth and the sun and the animals. despise riches. give alms to everyone that asks. stand up for the stupid and crazy. devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or any number of men ... reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book and dismiss whatever insults your own soul."
-walt whitman's introduction to leaves of grass

elevated envelopes

2011-09-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

my girlfriend took part in a project called elevated envelopes, in which a bunch of people made, decorated, filled, and sent envelopes to each other, each representing them, in their most creative sense.

she asked me to contribute.

so i threw together a poem, she wrote it out, it turned out like this:

and with that, she won the most poetic award! good for her. her project gets its mention here, about halfway down the page (text of poem included).

newspeak

2011-09-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

this has been popular on the internet lately:

abbey speaks

2011-09-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

"imagine a northern california where one-half of the human population suddenly, magically, painlessly disappears. vanishes, like a bad dream. imagine the results. rents go down. the price of a house or condo drops through the floor. the cost of land goes down. small farms and ranches again become available to the poor by enterprising. food, clothing, wheels, gadgets, go down in price. but at the same time there is an increased demand for labor, skilled and unskilled, in essential industries, such as the production of food and fiber: wages go up. and everywhere, in the towns, cities, and countryside, open space appears: the streets and roads are no longer jammed, the parks and forests and beaches no longer crowded. the decibel level goes down by half. the air becomes clear and clean again. mountain streams, perhaps after a time even some rivers, become pure enough to drink from. as they were before and as they were always meant to be."
-one life at a time, please, by edward abbey

interesting that abbey left his southwestern town and happened to be in san francisco when he had this thought (of which i have had similar).

qwantz.com

2011-09-15T13:16:00.001-07:00

i made my own dinosaur comic by using someone else's template! awesome!

if you've never been to qwantz.com, now is the time for you to do so.

8bit and cellular automata

2011-09-04T02:33:00.001-07:00

this is what happened when i seeded a cellular automata program with a space invader:

WARNING

2011-09-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

like i said in my guest post on the stifled artist: marketing campaigns are deliberately trying to supplant our natural, evolutionary senses in order to draw our attention to their commercials. (just think about every time you've tried to read a book with the TV on. the flash of color when a scene changes makes your eyes jump to the screen because your body is designed to respond to bright lights, flashing images, and loud noises as signs of danger.)

i quote from brand sense by martin lindstrom:

“if there is a sound, touch, taste, or smell component, well, you’d probably be right in assuming that this is merely a pleasant coincidence. one may ask why these four senses have been neglected and left to their natural protective roles. I cannot think of a single reason!” (page 10)

which is why, whenever i saw this fucking advertisement pass by me

i reflexively looked at it, certain that there was an actual danger nearby. fortunately, this inability to learn that it's just an ad also indicates that my danger awareness is still fully intact, which may one day just save my damned life.

too long to twitter

2011-08-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

here's a paragraph i found from charles stross's USENIX keynote speech, given right here in the bay area:

"More to the point, the whole idea of artificial general intelligence strikes me as being as questionable as 19th century fantasies about steam-powered tin men. I do expect us to develop some eerily purposeful software agents over the next decades, tools that can accomplish human-like behavioural patterns better than most humans can, but all that’s going to happen is that those behaviours are going to be reclassified as basically unintelligent, like playing chess or Jeopardy."

ouch. bam. roasted. those are two of my favorite pastimes.

policewatch::infodump

2011-08-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

it's been a few months since i've posted on what our local law enforcement has been up to, so there's quite a bit to get through. starting with:

::8/16 Photos of SWAT Team Members Allowing Children to Handle Unloaded Weapons Prompts Controversy in Santa Rosa

::8/15 Chief of Police for the Oakland School District Placed on Paid Administrative Leave, following a complaint lodged against him for using a racial slur.

::8/11 Pacifica Police Shoot and Kill Pit Bull Suspected of Mauling Its Pregnant Owner to Death. which is just a depressing headline all around.

::4/13 Hillsborough Police Officer Charged In Domestic Violence Case.

::5/27 District Attorney George Gascón announces 34 cases dropped because of SFPD "credibility problems." hahaha, credibility problems. yeah. that's a way of putting it.

::7/18 a man named kenneth harding was killed by gunfire after police officers tried checking him for a muni ticket. initial reports say harding was killed in a gun fight with police. follow-up reports then claim that he was a suspect in a murder in seattle. latest reports say that harding killed himself.

::6/29 Police Shoot Man Who Brought Gun To Senior Center.

::8/12 Oakland police shoot and wound man in Fruitvale area. possibly the same incident as the one in which Oakland police say officer shot man who attacked her after urinating on wall.

::2/28 San Mateo Cops Shoot Man.

::IDs of police in shootings often kept from public, in order to "protect officers and their careers."

::5/20 San Leandro cop charged with drug-related crime surrenders.

::5/6 San Ramon officer charged with drug and gun crimes.

::7/11-8/11 (and ongoing) and, as always, BART officers head up the list with the most ridiculous actions. after BART officers shot and killed a homeless man in july, members of the local community held a rally in order to protest the policies of the heavily-armed and lightly-trained BART police force. in response, BART shut down cell phone coverage on its train platforms in order to disrupt efforts by the protesters to organize. this action prompted an attack by the hacking group anonymous, which released the personal information of thousands of BART account users. more protests followed, shutting down service to many downtown SF BART stations. BART's handling of the situation - from heavy-handed, gun-happy officers to stepping on first amendment rights - has drawn comparisons to dictatorial governments such as china's and the middle east.

::5/19 on and on. oakland police fatally shoot two men.

::4/28 Dublin cop kills homeless man who attacked her.

::1/29 Oakland police kill a man who was wielding a fake weapon.

::1/23 and then Oakland police kill ANOTHER man who attacked an officer with a screwdriver.

that should be enough for one day.

oh wait, one more thing:

::8/5 current and former new orleans officers convicted in shootings that took place during hurricane katrina which left two people dead and four wounded. the police were involved in an extensive cover-up effort, including planting a gun on one of the bodies, fabricating witnesses and falsifying reports.

i am honored

2011-08-15T15:37:00.000-07:00

to be featured in this installment of the stifled artist's weekly feature on her blog. i've known her for a long time, throughout college and beyond, and her writing always prods me to view my chosen craft as an ideal, and not just another form of media. re-reading the article i wrote for her site, i see that she's added emphasis to certain sentences and ideas (in bold) and, no surprise, those are the exact ideas i feel the most strongly about. her thoughts and mine align quite often.

an innocent blowjob

2011-08-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

a fiction:
Here's a serious question: just how many characters are in this story?

With a first hit of acid on my breath I took my girlfriend upstairs and we moved right along. My experience with the drug was minimal, partial as I was to psilocybin instead and hesitant to take the next step to LSD and in doing so perhaps ruin or supplant the plateau that shrooms had previously occupied in my, as it were, mind. Both in LSD's ability to destroy my brain's ability to enjoy the physical (inasmuch as the brain can physically feel anything) (which, depending on your mindset (or outlook, or psychopharmaceutical upbringing) can be either absolutely nothing in regards to the fact that there are no nerve endings actually in the brain, OR, conversely, everything in as much as so that therefore wastofore everything felt by your body is ultimately the result of a electrochemical link-up in your brain) high and in LSD's ability to diminish or steal the thunder of shroom's previous psychedelic trips and make them seem, by comparison, kid's stuff. My experience with my girlfriend, however, was not.

So not being sure of what to expect from acid, I became very fixated, distracted, by overly-colorful things wondering, to myself, as I watched these things flit by and by like fishscales caught in fabric – invisible 99% of the time until that one millisecond when the light catches your eye – wondering if these colors were actually part of my drug experience or if they were just normal colors, on par for the visual landscape of my girlfriend's family's living room, and I was just fixating on them overmuch because I thought I was supposed to be focused on colors being, as you know, on acid. And then finding myself wondering at what point the distinction became academic and at what point it was all legitimately part of the drug trip.

Because, really, LSD would not be my first hallucinogen, so I had a vague idea of what the visual phenomena of psychedelic drugs (being 1. and 2. and the ilk and the ilk and the ilk) was like. Wasn't it therefore possible, I asked myself, mostly internally, that the strobe light effect around the edges of my vision and that weird change-of-focus effect that you studied in Film Class, the one that was first utilized in Goodfellas, when Ray Liotta sits in the diner booth with that other guy and the camera zooms in on them at the same rate in which it is physically being pulled back from them so that the foreground stays perfectly in focus but the background does this warping effect, THAT effect, isn't it possible that these things are just psychosomatic, placebic, dredged-up memories of your last hallucinogenic trip? Because, really, when I closed my eyes, it was easy to see all those stereotypical images of “crazy” “trippy” “psychedelic” colors and patterns, stuff from the changeovers-of-scene from That 70s Show, stuff that they put on T-shirts for fuck's sake. They being hippies. T-shirts being tie-dyed. You get it.

Negative space, like the peacock's occulus.

So how much of it, I kept asking myself, was my drug trip, and how much of it was stylized stuff I'd seen on TV of some other guy's drug trip, which in turn was not even his drug trip, but just something else he'd seen on television before he took acid, and had just remembered very vividly. You get it. You get it? Instead of having an original thought in his head. Except in this case what in normal circumstances would be the much-lamented “single original thought in his head” such as like a political opinion that wasn't a bumper sticker, et. al. (et. c.?) was an entire goddamn psychological undertaking on the electrical scales of industrial Chinese powerplants and fucked up scales of MKULTRA. Was this utmost expression of the human brain firing off on all billion neurotransmitter cylinders at once simply just another thing that a young man thought because somebody on a screen told him that this was the way it had to be thought? The prepackaged enlightenment?

Because when I closed my eyes, I saw wireframe wormholes in neon greens, blues, yellows, and reds, simplified landscapes that, although they would've terrified the shit out of John the Revelator, were more familiar to me, ultimately, than over 99.99% of the very state (of California) in which I lived to whit, you could blindfold me, drive me four hours in any direction, and drop me off somewhere in California that I had not previously visited and I would be at a loss to immediately identify my surroundings and yet show me this neon wireframe world and I would instantly say, “Oh, yeah. Atari.” Unfazed, even. And when my closed-eye visualizations began to veer to lines of binary and quasi-computer code plastering the flat planes of this wireframe world like hasty wallpaper, I cannot help but think, “What did this shit look like before computers?” As if CGI has invaded even our real-world, off-screen “movie moments,” causing us to doubt the very authenticity or reality of our own hallucinations. Circling back to the first moments (which actually might have been hours) of taking the drug when I could not be sure I was not just imagining that I was hallucinating.

So when did it become my drug trip, I wanted to know. Turns out that the best yardstick for this measurement is when you start seeing things you didn't expect to see. This shall be the only true indicator that you have veered into less-frequently and less-recently plundered mental foliage, the only time you can be sure that you haven't been here before, and that nobody else you know has been here either and come back to tell you about it. This yardstick becomes a slap on the wrist for me as I write, though, because, having thought as far ahead at least as the next sentence, I already know what to expect on the page. Oh dear. At some point, things would start to get interesting instead of being what ultimately, although probably pretty amazing in the 1950s, would be thought of today as a pretty lame screen saver. The reason that I don't believe that drugs (or dreams) open up a portal to another dimension into which my brain is quickly dipped like a wet hand into molten lead, coming away unscathed but briefly coated in a shiny liquid metal is because that the longer you look at something, the more you begin to see. The more you are able to see where it has come from. I can look at my acid-induced hallucination and say to myself, “Well, for fuck's sake, that looks like the devil on top of me instead of my girlfriend, bashing his head against the cathedral ceiling with every upthrust, letting in cracks of holy light, which run down the walls like eyeballs, leaving a gooey, fiery trail behind them,” and be quite certain that I haven't actually physically been transported to the ninth circle of hell. I can pick it apart, recognizing the imagery from Blake, Thomas Harris cover art, climatic scenes of The Lawnmower Man, concept art from that Call of Cthulhu video game I never got around to playing, imagery brought forth by words from the Bible and from Dante, and the eyeballs of the dianoga creature in the trash compactor scene of Star Wars: A New Hope. Quite simple, really.

Taking acid, and looking down at my topless girlfriend, felt like I was in college. Not because I took a lot of drugs in college (if any), because I didn't. Not, also, because I had a lot of sex or sexual moments with topless girls while I was in college, because I didn't. But because this was what I had seen other people in college movies do. This was, I believed, “the college experience.” Which I had never, myself, experienced, but had seen portrayed so many times on film that I could probably dredge up some cobbled-together “memory” made of chopped-and-spliced scenes from these movies which, when espoused, would seem completely genuine to any and all who heard of such exploits.

Case in point: my girlfriend told me I was cute. She gave several very good reasons to back up that hypothesis to back that thing up. Then it was my turn. I tried to put into words the following:

There's a certain subset of girl who is at the same time short but not fat, with the type of head-to-torso-to-leg-ratios that lend well to certain images of cute, compact packages which one can pick up and carry off to somewhere secluded. These images rely on a juxtaposition between the shortness of these girls' legs that allows them to wear baggy pants and the fitness of their upper bodies that allows them to wear tight shirts. The effect of this is that the girls' bottom halves look like a solid block – the baggy pants filling out an imaginary box that can be drawn by tracing two parallel lines straight down from the shoulders to the floor – while the upper halves are all of the expected curves and billows. It is like a bust on a pedestal. Very nearly a work of art. The kind of statuary that, when viewed on full-frontal, is a solid rectangular block from the shoulders down, a capital D and its inverse the only deviations from these straight lines in this case representing the waistline. This is very nearly a perfect example of “negative space” in which the absence of something defines that which is within or around it.

I was failing to put this in words to my girlfriend, mainly failing because of the drug. I could not express to her the juxtaposition of the casual, comfortable, “nobody-is-going-to-see-me-today” look of a girl wearing thick sweatpants or a pair of flannel nap pants, big enough to be rolled up at the waist, perhaps, COMBINED WITH the super-tight tank or tee. Which, although she hadn't intended it at all, showed off everything I really wanted to see, revealing in form. And then the only way I could think of to put it was like this:

“This is our new campaign for our sleepwear.”

“For women?”

“For women.

“Because those look like men's pajama pants. And why are they so big?”

“That's on purpose. We want the kind of look...the look that looks like you just rolled out of someone else's bed. You just rolled out of someone else's bed deliciously late on a Sunday morning and there's broken sunshine warming enough of a black-key path on the floorboards for you to make it by hopscotch to the kitchen, so you reach down and pull on someone else's pants-”

(And here my girlfriend said, “Short girls who look like they're dressed in their mothers' clothes.”

And I corrected her by saying,)

“-your boyfriend's pants which, because he's so much taller than you, you need to roll up a few times at the waist before you can go join him in the front of the house.”

“So what, we're selling women a boyfriend? The idea of a boyfriend, if they buy these pajamas? People who see them walking around the commons late at night will subconsciously think 'Now there goes a girl who is in such a stable relationship with her boyfriend that she can borrow his pants'?”

“No,” says an until now unseen, third, participant. “No,” she says with her head cocked and a slight smile of understanding starting at one side of her face and going to the other, “we're giving them the feeling of being taken care of. Cared for.”

All of this, I was sure, I had seen in a movie somewhere, or read in a book. I could see the scene, as I talked to my girlfriend, playing out line-by-line in my head, like an episode of Mad Men, although that was clearly not the source material because Old Navy nap pants weren't around in 1960. Or perhaps it was a throwaway line in a David Foster Wallace short story, because hadn't I recently read a story of his having to do with market research? All of this, sending me into a frenzy of research and search, convinced that it hadn't come solely from me, so sure of the lack of a single original thought.

Because I hadn't told my girlfriend that I was on acid, there was this terrible urge inside me to “keep a secret.” It permeated everything I did. Everything I was about to do had to be carefully analyzed and then set aside to see if it would betray this secret. Everything I had just done had to be carefully analyzed and then safely set aside in the past, in the vault of memory, to see if it had left some sort of clue which would lead a careful observer to deduce this secret. It was very distracting. It came to the point where the mental processes needed to continue analysis of the processes even trying to keep the secret overlapped the mental processes dedicated to pleasuring my girlfriend. This was not, at first, a bad thing.

At chance intervals throughout college and some of high school when I did have sexual encounters of the (according to and depending on either the Black Vault Encyclopedia Project or the Hynek scale) perhaps seventh or maybe merely third kind (respectively) with topless females, I more often than not got the feeling that I was far out of my element, that these girls perhaps had more sexual experience than I did and knew what to expect in regards to certain responses and such, and therefore I sometimes got the feeling that perhaps my responses weren't the ones normally expected, but that these girls were putting on a game face and going along with it. Determined, as they were, to bear it out without doing me any psychological damage by expressing disappointment. And me looking down on them looking down on me and knowing what they are knowing. In those situations, it felt, once again, as if I had “a secret” that must not be shared lest the whole improbable situation collapse. The secret, in these cases, being that I had no idea what I was doing. Which is, in hindsight, half the fun.

So the drug had done that to me again. Now, having a terrible secret to keep from the person I was in the physical act of having physical sex with made it feel like I was in college (perhaps some years of high school) without a clue. No clues, no footholds, no indicators or helpfiles or maps, pretty much, for the college female body. So, underneath my girlfriend, I had the imagined feeling that I had little or no sexual experience which was absurd being, as this was, at least the 4,000th time I had been underneath my girlfriend's gyrating body and so therefore had a pretty good handle on what to do with it. Unlike unlit dorm-room fumblings, when the girl grinding on top of you suddenly stops looking at you and looks either at the pillow behind your head, or off to one side at the blank fucking wall, or maybe still at you but now with heavily-lidded eyes that look more like smudges of makeup than actual ocular devices. When the girl grinding down on top of you suddenly looks elsewhere. When she forgets that there's someone else in the room with her.

Go into a college girl's room as a 19-year-old boy or so, go into any college girl's room, and you will get the feeling of I don't know how to say it. Plastic, perhaps. What are on her walls? Posters of Hollywood stars, magazine clippings from People magazine, the three or four faces that she has a crush on at the moment, because every college girl has them. The Pantheon of cute celebrities. Sometimes they are on rotation, but inevitably there is a core of choice boys that she has declared “mine.” Even girls who are not (or do not strike you as) boy-crazy, sex-starved, slutty, &c., even these have at least one picture of one guy they do not know in real life pinned up somewhere they will see it at least once every day, even if it was just put up as an inside joke with her best friends. That is what she thinks about when she hears the word “boys.” Not you, walking into her dorm room, with your 19 years of pubescent desperation hanging off of you. But then again, not either even the big-muscled tan quarterback jock type guy she knows the way she knows you. Even he, such a specimen, is displaced by the sheen of celebrity.

When she, these college girls, goes to sleep alone in her heavy-comforter dorm beds and dreams of having sex, it is not with anyone she knows. The bodies are the gym-based, action-romance-crossover-star's body, the kind achieved with the fitness regimes worthy of entire sub-Saharan African nations' militaries and the surgery on the scale of building an F-22 Raptor with robotic arms, completely free from human interference. Attempting to achieve a balance of “muscle, but not too much muscle. Lean, but not too lean,” that will fucking satisfy fucking female indecision. Maybe, if she has been talking to him a lot recently on the phone, the face will be, briefly, the face of a boy she knows, but his body (which she has never seen, or has at least seen in dismally poor proportion to the time and sheer square-footage she has seen of her Pantheon) will be forever plastic. And the face will, after its momentary flash interrupt of well-known local boy, revert back to its original programming of Studly McStudlyPants, star of This Inane Teen Drama. This is as opposed to the way men have wet dreams, which is in almost exactly the reverse – they have far more sex dreams with faceless partners, just really amazing bodies that perhaps terminate at the elbow, knee, and jaw.

And her imaginings don't stop at sleep, or at least don't stop at dreams. The sheer amount of mindspace that this media-man has in her, the amount of mental miles that he is ahead of you is so cosmically unfair that you just lie back and take what you can get, sometimes. When some girl invites you back to her room one night so that, in the half-dark of her computer's maybe 12-inch screen, she can download her dream from where it has been stored up in her head and superimpose it on an actual flesh-and-blood body for a few minutes. When you become the avatar for her celebrity boyfriend, who lives very far away and can't really make the trip to be there, himself, in person.

When the girl grinding down on top of you stops having sex with you and starts using you to masturbate with.

And the feeling of how unbelievably sad and lonely that sentence sounds when you think it to yourself. But you don't feel sad and lonely during sex. You're different. You're indifferent. You're diffident. You're above this. You are the man in this sexual partnership, and men don't feel sad and lonely during sex, only girls do that. I am looking down on myself looking down on myself looking down on this girl looking down on me and I don't even know in which person first second or third I am even supposed to be speaking right now.

(And how is this any different from the way guys treat girls? this entirely-made-up dialectical character I just spawned off, Socratically, in my head, asks myself. The objectification of women by men probably proceeds exactly in the same way as you just so thoroughly outlined, step-by-step, up above. Thanks for fighting our battles for us. What, exactly, is on the walls of a guy's dorm room? What are his sexual expectations?

Haven't you been paying attention at all? I answer. The preceding five pages has been my attempt to tell you that a scared, excited, about to burst at heart and glands boy walking into the darkened room of a creature who suddenly smells indescribably warm and soft as if he's a sacrificial creature has so much else on his brain, is so overloaded by just the ambient, peripheral stimuli in this experience that he has no sexual expectations. In reality, in these encounters, he just does what he was told and shows up. At this moment, he's fucking hoping you know what comes next, because he sure as fuck doesn't. At this moment, YOU are in control. Not just in control of his body, like he's fully-action-poseable, but also, like you're pressing the buttons on the clicker, in control of setting the reality around you and him. I mean you and me. I mean, I'm fucking talking to myself. Right?

And my Socratic partner says to me: man, you are so hung up.)

(And then another being splits off, someone I created to fight my battles for me, and says, Haven't you been paying attention at all? Six paragraphs ago we gave you the answer. A guy's sexual expectations are: somewhere wet and warm to stick it in. And “wet” and “warm” are, in the long run, optional.)

So the imagined remembered sexual shortcomings (or perhaps they were merely remembered imagined) underneath my girlfriend, in combination perhaps most likely with the drug, leads to an actual sexual shortcoming as I can no longer tell if my girlfriend is enjoying whatever the hell it is that I'm doing or if she is, like I imagine all of those girls before, merely waiting for me to get off so that she can get on with the evening. When she says, “What's wrong?” is when I know that something's wrong. Because really there was nothing wrong to me until she said what's wrong. By this point the drug has impeded my ability to even determine how hard my penis is, let alone if I've been utilizing it correctly. But I must, like I have with all of those girls before, preserve the secret.

“Oh, nothing,” and I smile.

“Do you need some help?” And she takes me into her mouth and moves it up and down. And this works a bit better for me, because isn't this what college and high school were like? Before sex became a real and frightening possibility, there were always safe and innocent alternatives. Before college, but after we had the fear of god about sex put into us by (in no particular order): our parents; sex ed/phys ed classes; the bible; our teachers; pregnant friends; AIDS; god; really confusing mainstream media which constantly told us in the morals of its stories that actually having sex with anybody would be a really regrettable choice but yet sold us sex in the next advertisement; confused second-hand schoolyard rumor; porn; physical contact with older members of the opposite sex; physical contact with older members of the same sex even; &c., before and after all of this, then, was the blowjob.

It felt better than masturbation.

It was administered by a real girl.

You could get one, and still be a virgin.

It was one of the only places into which a boy could come, safely. It wasn't going to get anybody pregnant, and the risk of disease was, mm, ignorable. Up until that point in one's life (up until that point a boy), one could not have an orgasm without risking an awful lot. At the very onset, the very first of these orgasms, was the nocturnal emission, the uncontrollable fucking overture to all of sex ever to be experienced hence, which, if experienced in anything remotely like a public setting i.e. a camp-out, sleepover, shared bed/bedroom, or even in a household in which the boy is not immediately in privilege to a set of laundering machines, results in immediate feelings of embarrassment and/or shame. Continuing from that point on is the harsh taboo against the “sin of self-interference” or “onanism.” Very early on, then, a boy's orgasms were merely preludes to quite the mess that had to be cleaned up.

As the boy grew and his ejaculations became prone to a receptor rather than willy-nilly scattershot, his orgasms increased in their potential danger to others and to himself. First and foremost was pregnancy, and so every orgasm was immediately chased by attempts to ascertain that the ejaculate had been successfully diverted away from fertile eggs. Only after that did the thought come of disease. A woman, lucky her, could have an orgasm whenever she wished (she wished) and not be in danger of forever altering the courses of many lives like ships bumping each other in drydock in the night, moaning, perpetual perambulator permutations rippling outward nay even unto the whole of humanity itself. (If that sounds pretty misogynistic, that is because it is.

(But the point, I make to myself, is that a boy never gets to choose his first orgasm. A man never controls his own sexual trajectory. Unlike a woman who has her sexual maturity, in menstruation, and her sexual awakening, in an orgasm, experienced at separate occurrences one would hope, a boy's sexual awakening and sexual maturity are simultaneous, sprung full-formed, suddenly and surprising to him and the entire world.)

)

In a girl's mouth, on the other hand, one could let go and come and in her mouth would be safe your secret.

“You don't think it ends a bit limply?”

“Well that's the way all the good ones end, isn't itnowmate?haha.Cheers.”

chiron review and decanto

2011-07-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

decanto - masque publishing's literary journal - has three of my poems appearing in its summer issues, one after another. right now it features my poem, "an elm sleeps." in august, decanto will publish "isn't it enough" and their october issue will feature "there's some type of mollusk."

chiron review, a magazine notable for publishing bukowski poetry back in the day, features my poems "baleen whale" and "(look at us)" in its summer 2011 issue.

and you're all right

2011-07-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

"if you set yourself to it, you can live the same life, rich or poor. you can still keep on with your books and your ideas. you just got to say to yourself, 'i'm a free man in here,'" and he tapped his forehead, "and you're all right."
-down and out in paris and london by george orwell

isaac asimov confirms to me that libraries are spaceships

2011-07-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

(via boingboing or some such)

webby

2011-06-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

so the SMCL blog was shortlisted for a webby award in the government category, in its first year of existence! good for fucking us!

and if you take a look at my recent blogs on that site, you get a general idea of what's been on my mind lately:

What's the Point? The Layers of Flatland

Before Saw, There Was Geometry

The Final Dimension

Alice Chess

Chess in Flatland

that's hot.

2011-05-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

redditor

2011-05-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

looks like i managed to hit the front page of reddit with my first post.

Drunk neighbor threw a bar of soap onto my balcony at 2:30AM. I carved this and threw it back at him:

(thanks to adam for grabbing a screenshot for me.)

the clock of the long now

2011-05-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

found out that the long now foundation has its headquarters right here in the bay area, at fort mason in SF. i first became aware of the clock of the long now when i read anathem by neal stephenson. the clock is an all-mechanical timepiece designed to run for something like 10,000 years without human interference (without human winding or setting). at the moment, the clock doesn't quite reach these goals, but constant work is going into the idea, and excavations into mountains in nevada and i think texas are currently underway, to house these future artifacts.

in anathem, the clock is the centerpiece of a mathematical monastery, a monastery in which the monks chant math formulas instead of prayers and wind the clock to keep it going for millenia.

so i decided to check out the prototypical clock parts they had at the museum at fort mason. the one fully-working prototype is currently on display at the science museum in london, but there were still some interesting devices:

in the foreground is the orrery, which would be driven by the same weights the drive the clock. in the background is an incomplete mock-up of the clock face.

this is the chime device.

a detail of the orrery.

a closer shot of the clock face.

and my girlfriend checking the time.

detail of the chimes.

a mock-up showing how the full-sized gears will be set into a chamber drilled down into the mountain.

hiding behind the orrery.

fuck the police medics

2011-04-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

(via boingboing)

errata

2011-04-29T14:36:00.000-07:00

::this is so sad

::GTA mario brothers

::this is some crazy shit - an actual 4D maze game. 4D as in four spatial dimensions, not as in three spatial dimension PLUS TIME, which is what we already have. you're supposed to look at shit like this and cross your eyes:

::they are men. men is what they are. Men of Tears - workshops where men go to cry.

::"Boy Uses Creed to Fend Off Wolves" is that not the greatest headline ever?

::robot ninja! pirate doctor laser monkey! narwhal zombie badger hobo bacon kitty captain penguin raptor jesus! because i love xkcd.

::this is a book that uses actual threads as hyperlinks.

::whenever i take a shit, i yell out "ENJOY THE GO!" (that, or "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" or "GOOD TIMES!")

::goodnight Dune it is what it says it is.

::tenacious d sings a cover of the original star trek theme song, complete with lyrics as written by roddenberry!

::a FPS mario brothers!

::yay peabnut bubbers

i recommend watching this entire series straight through

::monopoly was originally designed to teach people about the evils of capitalism.

::this is called the bellamy salute, described by some guy named bellamy, to go along with the pledge of allegiance, which he authored. yes, this is how you are supposed to salute the american flag.

::BROADCAST TRUTH OR ENDURE IGNORANCE.

::here, IGN has some portal 2 comics, for those of you who love portal.

::"Police in the US now rival criminals, and exceed terrorists as the greatest threat to the American public."

::end of line.

no substitute for a library

2011-04-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

(via boingboing)

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

2011-04-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

him: but my dick is not my life. your math is flawed.

her: i would argue that it is my life : )

him: haha you have no proof though. all you have is conjecture.

her: how could i prove that?

him: first-hand experience with results that could be duplicated.

her: and what kind of results would prove that your dick is your life?

him: probably coming all over your tits. that would be sufficient, right?

her: i don't quite see the connection.

him: um. by gathering semen in your various "sample collectors." you can analyze it and see that it is my dna, i.e. my life.

her: oh well i already know your semen contains your dna. experiment not necessary?

him: how do you know that? you've never swallowed a sample.

her: if i swallow it there won't be any to analyze, hahaha

him: oh shoot i thought that would be the most complete way to analyze. like the chick in terminator 3.

her: i am not a robot!

him: well i guess i'll just have to deposit the samples on your boobs. that's the old school way to do it.

her: i don't want to have to walk to the lab with semen on my boobs!

him: we'll do it in the lab then and save you the walk

her: i think labs are cold. can i wear a lab coat til the last minute?

him: ooo hot and nerdy sex

her: yeah that sounds about right

him: sounds enjoyable. FOR SCIENCE!

her: if anyone actually said that before we had sex, i think i would burst out laughing.

him: i'll have to find a chance to say it.

her: i think that a lab coat would probably be really flattering. i kinda want one.

him: i want a lab coat that doubles as a straitjacket.

her: so you can lab coat bondage me? or for your own general amusement?

him: they're the same thing.

man, i would fucking spear them to death, too

2011-04-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

in the tradition of independently-released christian movies, end of the spear relied heavily on word-of-mouth marketing, especially among church congregations, to push its box-office numbers up. do you go to church? did you get someone coming up to you, telling you that you had to go see this movie, and that, if you were going to see it, you should see it in its opening weekend so that the box office numbers would be really high? so that movie studios would see that there was a (totally not artificial at all) audience for these types of movies?

yeah, that's what i got.

i never did get around to seeing the movie, but i was reading confessions of an economic hit man the other day and i came across this:

"SIL had been working extensively with the huaorani tribe in the amazon basin area, during the early years of oil exploration [the 1950s] when a disturbing pattern emerged. whenever seismologists reported to corporate headquarters that a certain region had characteristics indicating a high probability of oil beneath the surface, SIL went in and encouraged the indigenous people to move from that land, onto missionary reservations; there they would receive free food, shelters, clothes, medical treatment, and missionary-style education. the condition was that they had to deed their lands to the oil companies.

rumors abounded that SIL missionaries used an assortment of underhanded techniques to persuade the tribes to abandon their homes and move to the missions. a frequently repeated story was that they had donated food heavily laced with laxatives - then offered medicines to cure the diarrhea epidemic. throughout huaorani territory, SIL airdropped false-bottomed food baskets containing tiny radio transmitters; receivers at highly sophisticated communications stations, manned by u.s. military personnel at the army base in Shell [Shell was an oil company town in ecuador] tuned into these transmitters. whenever a member of the tribe was bitten by a poisonous snake or became seriously ill, an SIL representative arrived with antivenom or the proper medicines, often in oil company helicopters.

during the early days of oil exploration, five SIL missionaries were found dead with huaorani spears protruding from their bodies. later, the huaoranis claimed they did this to send SIL a message to keep out. the message went unheeded. in fact, it ultimately had the opposite effect. rachel saint, the sister of one of the murdered men, toured the united states, appearing on national television in order to raise money and support for SIL and the oil companies, who she claimed were helping the "savages" become civilized and educated." (pages 142-143)

and that is the actual story of end of the spear. SIL is the "summer institute of linguistics," a christian organization geared to translating the bible into other languages, among other things (such as expanding imperialistic oil companies' holdings, apparently). they have a history of fucking things up in south- and central-american countries. by the 1980s, they were banned from brazil, ecuador, mexico, and panama, and restricted in colombia and peru. "At a conference of the Inter-American Indian Institute in Mérida, Yucatán, in November 1980, delegates denounced the Summer Institute of Linguistics, charging that it was using a scientific name to conceal its Protestant agenda and an alleged capitalist view that was alien to indigenous traditions." they have also been accused of functioning as a missionary organization and exacerbating the problems causing language endangerment and death in Brazil.

so there's that, then. this is not a story of "savages" who were threatened by the holy word of god and resorted to violence in order to cover it up. these are not tools of the devil. this is a story of people being exploited by corporations, who took what weapons they had and used them.

how to save the world in 3 easy steps :OR: i appear to lose my shit

2011-03-25T13:02:00.001-07:00

BIRTH CONTROL :: MARS DIRECT :: READ A FUCKING BOOK ALREADY

i was watching mad men with M two months (and five days) ago and she commented on something in the show - she said, "how could they do that back then?" as a character got into a car with someone that they did not know.

i answered, "it was a simpler time."

and she said, "still! what's the difference between then and now?"

and i said, "overcrowding."

and IMMEDIATELY after i said that, i looked down at my laptop, at the page i'd just opened on warren ellis's site, and found this blog. in which guest blogger paul di filippo addresses the problem(s) of overpopulation. his first lines:

Did you ever feel that all the world’s problems–environmental, cultural, political–could be the result of just too many fucking people on the planet? (“Fucking,” as used here, is a precisely descriptive adjective, and not a mere kneejerk intensifier.)

why yes, i said, yes i do feel that, i said to my computer. how did you know? how wise you are. not that it's really a huge epiphany to realize that a large human population is detrimental to the health of humans, animals, and the environment causing a long list of problems, or nearly every problem known to man: lack of resources (food, clean water, oil), disease, war, poverty, the concerns (if you have them) of animal rights and factory farming, crime, and so on.

a pastor i once had gave a sermon on this, briefly, deriding it. he said, "the entire human population can be placed in a box that would fit in the grand canyon. there's plenty of room on this planet for people! overpopulation is ridiculous."

the problem, as more intelligent people point out, is not the physical space needed to place a human body on the planet, it is the space and infrastructure and energy required to raise a human body from birth to death - the space needed to farm the grains and vegetables to feed that person, the space needed to farm the grains to feed the livestock to feed that person, the highways needed to transport that livestock to feed that person, the petroleum needed to synthetically make fertilizer to grow the grains to feed that person, the oil spills that come with drilling that petroleum, the peruvian-ecuadorean border wars fought between indigenous tribes and corporate security forces to drill in the amazonian rain forest to provide the petroleum to pave the highway that allows long-distance truckers to transport factory-farmed animals two thousand miles to feed that person. &c. it, obviously, goes so much further than just the 2X3X6 foot space needed for a person to stand.

the very real problem we face here is the lack of a forward-looking energy infrastructure coming into the next decades. despite talk and slow progress into green energy with solar, wind, and whatnot bullshit being pushed by obama and desperate corporate industries, it's a bit too slow to take over for the end of oil. if we run out of oil without a safety net already in place, we will starve to death. it's not just a matter of trucks and ships no longer being able to cheaply transport food to us, or us being unable to drive our own vehicles, it's a basic problem of being unable to grow food.

the agriculture industry was once limited by the nitrogen content of the earth. although nitrogen is the most abundant element in the air, it's generally an inert gas, which means that it doesn't chemically react with anything. therefore, it doesn't wind up in the soil, it stays up in the atmosphere, where it cannot be used. the only way that nitrogen gets into the soil is through legumes, which (through bacterial interchange in their roots) pull it out of the air and deposit a small amount into the ground. (that, and lightning strikes. but the amount deposited by lightning is minute.) this is why, traditionally, farmers have rotated their crops between grains, such as corn, and legumes, such as soy. it is to replenish the nitrogen in the soil. if that is not done, then a crop of corn planted in the same soil will not grow.

during world war I, the german army needed a way to synthetically produce nitrates, in order to keep producing explosives (they had been cut off from saltpeter produced by chilean mines) and so came up with the haber process, in which nitrogen is synthesized from hydrogen provided by natural gas or coal. this leads to some foreseeable problems:

The Haber process now produces 100 million tons of nitrogen fertilizer per year, mostly in the form of anhydrous ammonia, ammonium nitrate, and urea. 3–5% of world natural gas production is consumed in the Haber process (~1–2% of the world's annual energy supply). That fertilizer is responsible for sustaining one-third of the Earth's population, as well as various deleterious environmental consequences.[2][5] Hydrogen production using electrolysis of water powered by renewable energy is not yet competitive cost-wise with hydrogen from fossil fuels, such as natural gas, and so has been responsible for only 4% of current hydrogen production (almost all as a byproduct of the chloralkali process). Notably, the rise of the Haber industrial process led to the "Nitrate Crisis" in Chile when the natural nitrate mines were no longer profitable and were closed, leaving a large unemployed Chilean population behind.

when we run out of fossil fuels, the renewable energy sources will not be able to sustain that amount of fertilizer production, and our agricultural output will drop drastically. it is most likely that americans will not actually starve to death if this happens, but we will face skyrocketing food prices, and our diet of cheap meat that we are so used to will be history. it would make sense to switch to a more grain-based diet anyways, since it is a more efficient transfer of calories from the sun to our bodies, rather than having the calories travel from sun to earth to grain to cattle to human body. but while we face expensive food and bitch about our lifestyles, people in third world countries that rely on our exports will face food riots and resource wars.

to quote dawkins: "If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored." this is what we face.

so what's the solution? kill 'em all?

the two extremes of the solution spectrum are, on one hand, to implement a massive genocide in order to drastically reduce the human population, as advocated by anarcho-primitivists or by tom clancy's ridiculous rainbow six and, on the other hand, to replace our current framework with alternative energy sources. neither of these are very plausible, or practical. the build up of alternative energy sources is too slow to take over the burden placed on fossil fuel sources and, even if implemented in time, would serve merely as a stop gap, encouraging further population growth until we are faced with another over-crowding crisis.

so. step
1) is to reduce the human population. without killing people. and without instituting a state-sponsored birth-limitation program, such as was done by china, because that opens its own can of worms and a half. but educating people about birth control can go a long way to cutting down on unplanned pregnancies, and in slowing the growth of the human population, world-wide. the way that time.com puts it (in its article on ten ideas that will change the world):

"Around the world, countries are in various stages of progress through what economists call the demographic transition. That's the move from high rates of fertility and mortality — women having lots of children, many of whom die young — to low birthrates and longer life expectancies. The rich countries of Europe and North America, along with Japan, are all the way through this transition, with many of them seeing shrinking populations as a result. Africa is still in the middle of the change; Latin America and Asia are further ahead."

but the need for birth control education should not be seen as only needed in developing areas of the world, such as africa, but also in rich countries. like america. especially in america. something needs to be done to counter MTV shows like teen mom and 16 and pregnant. someone needs to explain to the quiverfull movement that what they're doing is a really bad idea.

("What are we left with?
A nation of god-
fearing
pregnant nationalists
Who feel it's their duty
to populate the homeland"
-nofx)

this is not to say that everyone should stop having babies, period. but think about this: if everyone in the world today limited themselves to having one child, we would halve the world population in one generation. if couples don't want to have single children, and took the extravagance of having only two kids, we could, theoretically freeze the population at its current state. (although, in practice, the population would drop a little, due to differences in birth and mortality rates.)

and to those who fear for their bloodline dying out, read some more of di filippo's entry:

"The sheer presence of seven billion people devalues the existence of any single person. The human continuum is only so broad, and every conceivable niche of it is overstuffed with identical individuals. If I die tomorrow, there are a hundred persons with my similar skillset and worldview to take my place."

in other words, you're not all that special. get the fuck over yourself. but this brings me to the next step, which is step

2) the need to colonize another planet. this is the point in the blog where i may start to sound a little loopy, but in reality it's an eminently practical and logical idea. the above, from di filippo, demonstrates how far we've diverged from evolutionary goals, the point of which, from a species' viewpoint, is to propagate as many copies and variations of its genes as possible in order to increase the chances of survival. but since the greatest threat to ourselves is ourselves, since we've reached a ridiculous level of genetic redundancy, since we've bred ourselves to the brink of starvation and genocide, we need to either die off to a level where the population can achieve some sort of equilibrium, or we need to do something with all of that redundancy.

the point of our existence, in a big-picture sense, is to spread our particular genetic life as far as possible, and then to copy it as much as possible. (we are merely big, meaty viruses that are carrying around smaller, dna viruses. we infect a geographical area, reproduce and reproduce and reproduce until we've filled that area, and then move onto an empty area and repeat.) since we've used up all of our practical space on earth, we must swarm, like an ant or bee colony, to start a new population, that can flourish. even if we did manage to reduce the population on earth to acceptable levels, we would still have all of our genetic eggs in one precarious basket, susceptible to the next extinction-level event to hit our planet. (there have been several so far. no reason to believe we are immune to the next.)

so we set our sights on colonizing off-world, to further increase our odds of surviving. that is our basic evolutionary drive. so we set our sights on colonizing mars. (not the moon. there is nothing for us on the moon: there is no air, little gravity, no minerals, no geothermal heat, and no water.) a common response to this proposal is one of, "we have plenty of problems here on earth. maybe we should solve those before we focus on another planet." but the point is that focusing on another planet will alleviate many of the problems here on earth.

the practical aspects of a mission to mars (or several missions to mars) are already within our capabilities. starting in the 1990s, a proposal was given to nasa for a cheap, sustainable mars program. though written off as too lofty at the time, it has since been revisited and has attracted a lot of attention. it's called mars direct, and looks to be our best chance at getting our species off of earth and into the rest of the universe.

by using currently-existing technology - such as parts derived from the space shuttle program, saturn and atlas rocket boosters - habitat modules can be lifted to mars in six-month trips. with something called a sabatier reactor, chemical reactions undertaken on the surface of mars would provide astronauts with rocket fuel, breathable air, and water, produced from elements that are already found on mars. this cuts down on the amount of material needed to be sent to mars, and therefore reduces the cost and complexity of the program in general. the proposed cost of the mars direct program is somewhere around $50 billion, over a period of several years.

the cost of the iraq war, in comparison, is $845 billion to the united states alone.

and mars offers the earth a lot. because it has no above-surface water, its land area is nearly equal to that of the earth's. experiments have already shown that plants can be grown in greenhouses under mars's carbon dioxide atmosphere, at mars-like pressures, so colonists will be able to grow their own food. colonists would be able to build an agricultural structure from the ground up, by necessity starting with sustainable practices that would reduce the repetition of agricultural blunders we've managed here on earth. mars also has a wide range of metals and minerals that have yet to be mined, and so represents a wealth of resources for the entire human race.

of course, it will be some time before we can send enough people, fast enough, to mars in order to make a measurable dent in our population, but starting this type of program will provide yet another outlet for our growing pressures.

step 2 is a long-range goal, and even step 1, if immediately implemented, wouldn't show its benefits for at least a generation. but there is something that i believe would have a massive beneficial impact on the planet, now, that anyone can do. this brings me to the heart of my argument.

step 3) read. read many, many books. the benefit of reading cannot be overstated. apart from making you a more imaginative and creative person, reading also improves analytical and critical thinking skills (and, god, do we need more of that in this country), the ability to think for one's self. a book is one of the rare forms of mass media and entertainment that does not require electricity (apart from reading at night), it's portable, and it is the very essence of user-generated content. don't like any of the books you've read? fucking write one yourself.

books also have the honorable stature of not being full of advertisements, unlike television. when you sit down to read a book, think about what you are doing. think about what you are not doing. you are not being bombarded, every five minutes, with screaming advertisements that (this is not hyperbolic) brainwash you into buying shit you do not need, shit you do not want. you are not watching tv. you are, most likely, not listening to the radio. you are not watching the "pre-show entertainment" (captive audience direct advertising) before a movie. you are not driving past miles and miles of billboards. you are, therefore, clearing your mind of the consumerist mentality that is pressed upon you nearly every minute of your waking life.

i sincerely hope that this change allows you to view advertisements with a critical mind. you will be able to look at a commercial and figure out what they are truly saying to you, and what they are lying about. you will be able to evaluate your own needs, and not the artificial needs that marketers want you to think you have. you will, in short, have a reduced desire to buy worthless shit.

the trickle-down effect of this is the important step to saving the world. with less desire to consume, you will use less energy. even by not watching tv, you save oil and reduce pollution, merely because it takes a lot of electricity to run a television. with less desire to consume, you will reduce the demand of certain products, and therefore reduce the need for supply. this cuts back on transportation costs of shipping garbage to your local mall. this cuts back on sweatshop manufacturing. this cuts back on pollution. (also, you save money.)

the u.s. is the highest consumer of pretty much everything in the world, so a small change there has a domino effect throughout the rest of the world. a reduction in consumption and waste in the u.s. leads to fewer resource wars, less poverty, less pollution, and any number of other benefits.

sounds like kind of an overblown love of reading, does it? john perkins, in his book confessions of an economic hit man says:
"we have arrived at the end of this book, and also at a beginning. you are probably wondering where to go next, what you can do to stop the corporatocracy and to end this insane and self-destructive march to global empire.
...
i could give you a list of practical things to do. for instance, cut back on your oil consumption. in 1990, before we first invaded iraq, we imported 8 million barrels of oil; by 2003 and the second invasion, this had increased more than 50 percent, to over 12 million barrels. the next time you are tempted to go shopping, read a book instead, exercise, or meditate."

(emphasis mine)

the above was a mishmash of ideas brought about by reading the following:
::the omnivore's dilemma by michael pollan
::confessions of an economic hit man by john perkins
::the greatest show on earth by richard dawkins
::the case for mars by robert zubrin

four fingers

2011-03-16T16:20:00.000-07:00

"fred hoyle has ingeniously speculated that, if we had been born with eight digits and therefore become accustomed to octal arithmetic instead of decimal, we might have invented binary arithmetic and hence electronic computers a century earlier than we did."

(from dawkins, the greatest show on earth, footnote on page 87.)

le wrath di khan

2011-03-12T12:13:00.000-08:00

in excited anticipation of tomorrow

Librarians Against DRM

2011-03-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

and the Reader's Bill of Rights for Digital Books

corrupt SFPD caught on tape

2011-03-07T18:56:00.000-08:00

six SFPD officers were accused of illegal search and of perjury after they were caught on a hotel security camera entering two SOMA apartments without warrants or the occupants' consent. the story is here.

the video is here.

fuck the police.

six degrees of separation: velociraptor to kevin bacon

2011-03-06T15:08:00.001-08:00

ever seen that episode of psych wherein shawn off-handedly challenges gus to the kevin bacon game? where he says, "okay, a velociraptor to kevin bacon, go!"?*

here's the shortest link i've found:

the velociraptor was in jurassic park with samuel l. jackson
who was in snakes on a plane with rachel blanchard
who was in where the truth lies with kevin bacon.

i challenge you to do better.

*and if you have seen that episode, let me know if you remember which one it is, because i can't remember.**

**okay apparently the episode is "65 million years off," and the exact quote is: "I can play Six Degrees of Dinosaur with you right now. You've never been in a movie with Kevin Bacon or Dilaposaurus, have you?" thanks to @kewangji for the source.

though a few things about that - so it wasn't a velociraptor, and a dilaposaurus is not a real dinosaur. a dilophosaurus is, and it's in jurassic park, so the joke still works. it's just not as cool as with a velociraptor.

also, a dilophosaurus contributes well to six degrees of separation, as my buddy lorena pointed out:

she says, "Velociraptor was in Jurassic Park with Wayne Knight who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon." which officially makes that the shortest link between the two. and since the dilophosaurus is the one that eats wayne knight in jurassic park, the cycle is complete.

jones av.

2011-02-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

JONES AV. - a poetry chapbook/magazine publisher - has three of my poems in its latest publication, volume XV issue 3 ::"an elm sleeps," "isn't it enough," and "there's some type of mollusk."

books are weapons in the war of ideas

2011-02-22T11:53:00.000-08:00

(via boingboing)

black helicopters

2011-02-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

me(6:07PM): why do military helicopters keep flying over our apartment?
her(6:10PM): cause they're looking for the hulk!
me(6:10PM): oh that's nifty. but really. is obama in town again or something?
her(6:13PM): i don't think so. unless he's doing a surprise visit.

7PM news:

(marine one, being, of course, any marine corps aircraft carrying the president, usually denoting a helicopter, in this case the VH-60N variant of the blackhawk (called the "whitehawk"). what flew over my apartment was a chinook followed by two blackhawks, one of which carried the president.)

(did i tell you about the last time he was in town? he took the freeway that time, from SFO down to mountain view, at a little after 6PM. i, leaving working at exactly 6, was also taking 101 from san carlos to palo alto. i saw the motorcade pass by the freeway on-ramp and then, on my motorcycle, i cut through the traffic and tailgated the CHP chase car, which was driving at maybe 40mph. i could have easily made the evening news.)

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

2011-02-17T11:28:00.000-08:00

boy: i liked your photo shoot with that motorcycle.
girl: : )
boy: it's a nice bike. i'd change the handlebars and get rid of that sissy bar, though.
girl: what part did you like best about the photos, me or the bike?
boy: definitely you. no apparent physical flaws from what i could see.
girl: no apparent flaws? do you think there would be some visible if i was wearing less clothing?
boy: highly doubtful, but one never knows. i'd be a willing inspector, though.
girl: oh? sounds interesting. what would that consist of?
boy: we'd have to strip it down to examine the underlying bodywork, of course. it's very hands-on.
girl: well last time i checked my undercarriage, everything was in good working condition. do you have any tools appropriate for this?
boy: uh...i've got a pneumatic lever that's pretty useful in these situations. do you have any experience handling one of those?
girl: oh i prefer to let the experts handle that. what's it for?
boy: i'd use it to check your fluid levels, first.

...

boy: if you tied your hair into handlebars, i'd adjust the clutch and throttle and let you play with the petcock.
boy: oh and this is random, but it fits in well with our conversation: "The best engine in the world is the vagina, it takes any size piston, its self lubricating, starts with 1 finger, and every 4 weeks does its own oil change."
boy: that's from bash.org

...

(she being brand new, and all that.)

James Gunn's PG Porn | | SPIKE.com

happy darwin day

2011-02-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

Bill Text
112th Congress (2011-2012)
H.RES.81.IH

RESOLUTION

Expressing support for designation of February 12, 2011, as Darwin Day and recognizing the importance of science in the betterment of humanity.

Whereas Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by the mechanism of natural selection, together with the monumental amount of scientific evidence he compiled to support it, provides humanity with a logical and intellectually compelling explanation for the diversity of life on Earth;

Whereas the validity of Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection is further strongly supported by the modern understanding of the science of genetics;

Whereas it has been the human curiosity and ingenuity exemplified by Darwin that has promoted new scientific discoveries that have helped humanity solve many problems and improve living conditions;

Whereas the advancement of science must be protected from those unconcerned with the adverse impacts of global warming and climate change;

Whereas the teaching of creationism in some public schools compromises the scientific and academic integrity of the United States’ education systems;

Whereas Charles Darwin is a worthy symbol of scientific advancement on which to focus and around which to build a global celebration of science and humanity intended to promote a common bond among all of Earth’s peoples; and

Whereas, February 12, 2011, is the anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin in 1809 and would be an appropriate date to designate as Darwin Day: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives–

(1) supports the designation of Darwin Day; and

(2) recognizes Charles Darwin as a worthy symbol on which to celebrate the achievements of reason, science, and the advancement of human knowledge.

crashfaster at the EFF

2011-02-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

hey, so my buddy crashfaster is going to be playing some chiptunes for the electronic frontier foundation's 21st birthday, feb. 16th in SF.

i found this out randomly when i was scrolling through boingboing and saw his name.

that's some nerdtastic shit right there. check it out if you're so inclined. he's also releasing his first album on feb. 15th, which you can stream for free right now.

anemone sidecar

2011-02-11T17:33:00.000-08:00

online mag anemone sidecar has my poem "unfolded their sails" in its 13th chapter, available for online viewing.

woo!

here's a reason to exhibit anger towards the police

2011-02-11T11:47:00.000-08:00

here's an article in the chronicle about how much some bay area police make. ready for it?

.heather fong received $528,595 in her last year as SF police chief. (plus an annual $229,500 pension. for life.)

:charles keohane got $516,118 in his last year.

:.morris tabak got $425,558 in his last year. he and keohane both get six-figure pensions as well.

::bart cop travis gibson earned $355,000, which is twice what the governor makes.

:..maria white made $282,453.

::.bart police sergeant mark macaulay, who is still employed, made $286,152 in 2009, $140,908 of that from overtime. holy shit.

what the fuck, fuckers?

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

2011-02-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

(jeez, when was this? high school?)

boy: so what were we talking about? how great i am?
girl: yes, i think we were talking about my awesomeness of drving off cliffs
boy: i think i'd only purposefully drive off a cliff if someone was in the car with me and we were making out or having sex because that would be a nice way to die
girl: wtf?! HECK YEAH!!!!!!
boy: although having sex AND driving AND dying at the same time could get a little tricky
girl: i'd be like, oh baby, we're about to die
boy: yeah it would just make it more of a thrill
girl: HAHAH HECK YA omg omg
girl: .......................omg
boy: haha. well i'm really glad we had this conversation
boy: what should we talk about now
girl: hahah me too. i'll remember it as long as i live... me and [boy]'s sex conversation. the one and only.
boy: the only? i'm sure we'll have other twisted sex conversations in the future. if we can think of other cool ways to die and have sex
girl: not just sex conversations, but TWISTED sex conversations. and im sure we could think of more
boy: dont try too hard ... twisted sex conversations just have to happen on their own
girl: HAHAH i won't try. dont worry.
boy: okay
girl: see yuh tomorrow
boy: bye [girl]
girl: bye [boy] wonkety wink
girl: HAHAHA i mean winkety wink
girl: HAHA omg
boy: wonkety that's great
girl: wonkety wink hahahaahaha
boy: that's a twisted sex noise
girl: i'm so dumb
girl: hahha hHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

argument the thirty-sixth: the argument from the abundance of arguments

2011-02-08T11:26:00.000-08:00

the final argument:

The Argument from the Abundance of Arguments:
1. the more arguments there are for a proposition, the more confidence we should have in it, even if every argument is imperfect. (science itself proceeds by accumulating evidence, each piece by itself being inconclusive.)
2. there is not just one argument for the existence of god, but many - thirty-five in this list alone.
3. the arguments, though not flawless, are persuasive enough that they have convinced billions of people, and for millennia have been taken seriously by history's greatest minds.
4. the probability that each one is true must be significantly greater than zero (from 3).
5. for god not to exist, every one of the arguments for his existence must be false, which is extremely unlikely (from 4). imagine, for the sake of argument, that each argument has an average probability of being only .2 of being true, which means that it has a probability of .8 of being false. then the probability that all thirty-five are false is (1-.8^35) = .004, an extremely low probability.
6. it is extremely probable that god exists (from 5).

Flaws: premise 3 is vulnerable to the same criticisms as the argument from the consensus of humanity, namely that people are stupid. the flaws that accompany each argument may be extremely damaging, even fatal, notwithstanding the fact that they have been taken seriously by many people throughout history. in other words, the average probability of any arguments' being true may be far less than .2, in which case the probability that all of them are false could be high.

this argument treats all the other arguments as being on an equal footing, distributing equal probabilities to them all, and rewarding all of them, too with the commendation of being taken seriously by history's greatest minds. many of the arguments on this list have been completely demolished by such minds as david hume and baruch spinoza: their probability is zero.

some of the arguments on this list are contradictory to other arguments on the same list. you cannot build a case for the existence of god by using all 35 arguments at once, you must pick and choose the ones that fit your particular agenda.

(from goldstein, pages 398-399.)

library blog: what's the point?

2011-02-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

new library blog up here: a post on flatland and all its glories. to wit:

"So. Flatland. Flatland is an imaginary world, imagined by the great imaginer
Edwin Abbott Abbott (that's kind of an unimaginative name, though), who wrote a
book called "Flatland" in order to explain the mathematical concepts of
dimensions. It's a pretty good book. Check it out. Also, it's a romance. Oh
yeah, and also, he wrote it in 1884."

and, when analyzed by i write like, we are thusly rewarded:

I write like
David Foster Wallace

achievement unlocked!

classified laughter

2011-02-07T11:21:00.000-08:00

"not surprisingly, such films and novels take liberties with scientific and other facts - which can produce laughter from the initiated.*

*when alan mode of lawrence livermore national laboratory took some of his staff, who were experts in weapons design, to see the film version of the sum of all fears, he cautioned them not to laugh at errors, telling them that their laughter, by revealing errors, might be classified."

-from the preface of defusing armageddon: inside NEST, america's secret nuclear bomb squad

argument the thirty-fifth: the argument from the intelligibility of the universe

2011-01-31T10:39:00.000-08:00

this is also known as "spinoza's god."

The Argument from the Intelligibility of the Universe:
1. all facts must have an explanation.
2. the fact that there is a universe at all - and that it is this universe, has an explanation.
3. there must, in principle, be a theory of everything that explains why just this universe exists (from 2. although we may not have the cognitive ability to uncover this theory of everything, ever).
4. if the theory of everything explains everything, it explains why it is the theory of everything.
5. the only way that the theory of everything could explain why it is the theory of everything is if it is itself necessarily true.
6. the theory of everything is necessarily true (from 4 and 5).
7. the universe, understood in terms of the theory of everything, exists necessarily and explains itself.
8. that which exists necessarily and explains itself is god (a definition of "god").
9. the universe is god (from 7 and 8).
10. god exists.

okay. "spinoza's god" is the one that einstein said he believed in. a major problem with the argument, though, is that it is not clear that it is god whose existence is being proven. many religious leaders would fail to see this argument as proof of their idea of a personal and all-knowing divine entity.

Flaws: the first premise cannot be proved. our world could be one in which randomness and contingency have free reign, not matter what the intuitions of some scientists are. maybe some things just are, including the fundamental laws of nature. there is a sense in which this argument recalls the argument from the improbable self.

this argument (argument 35) fleshes out the consequences of the first premise, but some might regard this argument as a reductio ad absurdum of that premise.

also, spinoza's argument invalidates all the other arguments, the ones that try to establish a more traditional god, a god distinct from the world and universe as well as distinct from the world of human meaning, purpose, and morality. spinoza's argument claims that any transcendent god, standing outside of that which he is invoked to explain, is invalidated by the first premise, that all things are explainable. this is why spinoza, although he offered proof of what he called "god," is often regarded as the most effective of all atheists.

(from goldstein, pages 395-397.)

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

2011-01-29T12:05:00.000-08:00

boy: so what've you been up to?
girl: just work.
boy: where do you work?
girl: at a maternity clothing store.
boy: well that's cool, i guess.
girl: yeah, 50% discount, woo.
boy: are you pregnant?
girl: no.
boy: would you like to be? cause i could totally help you out there.
girl: no thanks.

killers with badges

2011-01-28T23:24:00.000-08:00

oakland police kill another man.

in east oakland today, police chased two drive-by shooting suspects until their car crashed and burst into flames. then the police shot and killed one of the suspects (who was armed) and arrested the other suspect without further force.

fuck oakland.

argument the thirty-fourth: the argument from sublimity

2011-01-27T23:20:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Sublimity:
1. there are experiences that are windows into the wholeness of existence.
2. we glimpse a benign transcendence in these moments.
3. only god could provide us with a glimpse of benign transcendence.
4. god exists.

Flaws: an experience of sublimity is an aesthetic experience. great and transcendent as these experiences may be, aesthetic experiences are still responses of the brain, as we see from the fact that ingesting recreational drugs can bring on even more intense experiences of transcendence.

(from goldstein, pages 394-395.)

boy uses creed to fend off wolves

2011-01-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

that's simply the greatest headline i've ever seen. from boingboing: a 13-year-old boy "was confronted by a pack of wolves on the way home from school in Rakkestad, Norway. Remembering that one should try to scare the animals rather than run, he yelled, waved his arms, and cranked up some Creed on his mobile phone."

he said: "he was able to drive away the wolves by playing the song "Overcome" by the American hard-rock band Creed. "They didn't really get scared," Walter said. "They just turned around and simply trotted away."

...probably because he had bad taste.

...

MARKETING IS LIES

2011-01-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

(as if there was any doubt.)

see any difference between these two pictures? the top one is the marketing photo from Riu Negril Club. the bottom one is an actual picture taken at the actual site.

and again:

compare the hyatt's photo (above) with a photo of reality (below).

and again.

AND AGAIN!

(via boingboing)

the world will end on may 21, 2011

2011-01-20T12:08:00.000-08:00

looks like we're all fucked! there is a man named harold camping who has, through his careful reading of the bible, determined that the rapture is going to occur this may! we don't have to wait for 2012 for the world to end.

camping (harold camping) is the leader of family radio worldwide, and has spurred a church-independent movement dedicated to spreading the message of the impending apocalypse. this is nothing new. end-of-days predictions are some of america's favorite pastimes. i bring this one up only because it's relatively widespread, it's rather soon, and it's located in oakland, california, which strikes close to home. mmm, details here.

with all that we've been learning about religion lately, we should do our best to EDUCATE THEM about the errors of their ways. you can physically write them at this address:

Family Stations Inc. 290 Hegenberger Rd. Oakland, CA 94621

and the message can say something like, perhaps, "you are reading this because you are wrong," and time it so that they receive the letter on the 22nd of may. also, their email:

familyradio@familyradio.org
webservant@familyradio.org
info@familyradio.org

be sure to point out that reason is better than blind faith, that holy books are flawed, that mystics are deluded, that human purpose is ultimately pointless and they are not specially chosen by god to be raptured up to heaven, that there is no ultimate moral truth that proves that gay rights is a sign of the apocalypse, that there is no afterlife, that there are personal and cosmic coincidences that only appear to be signs and wonders.

fuck the police, because they're going to literally rape you

2011-01-19T17:44:00.000-08:00

this one comes from the great state of texas, where an on-duty san antonio cop by the name of craig nash, RAPIST, raped a transgender sex worker. the felony charge of sexual assault by a police officer rightly carries a maximum sentence of life in prison.

what did nash get?

one year in prison. he plea bargained the charge down to "official oppression" which means that he had sex while on duty. that's it. they didn't charge him with rape, they didn't even pursue the accusation that the sex he had was not consensual. in addition to the year in prison, nash has agreed to never seek work as a police officer in the state of texas ever again.

but only in the state of texas. he's got one state down, forty-nine to go.

FUCK THE FUCKING POLICE FUCKERS. FUCK.

argument the thirty-third: the argument from the unreasonableness of reason

2011-01-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Unreasonableness of Reason:
1. our belief in reason cannot be justified by reason, since that would be circular.
2. our belief in reason must be accepted on faith (from 1).
3. every time we exercise reason, we are exercising faith (from 2).
4. faith provides good rational grounds for beliefs (since it is, in the final analysis, necessary even for the belief in reason - from 3).
5. we are justified in using faith for any belief that is so important to our lives that not believing in it would render us incoherent (from 4).
6. we cannot avoid faith in god if we are to live coherent moral and purposeful lives.
7. we are justified in believing that god exists (from 5 and 6).
8. god exists.

Flaws: the attempt to justify reason with reason is not circular, but, rather, unnecessary. one already is, and always will be, committed to reason by the very process one is already engaged in - reasoning. reason needs no justification, because it is justification.

if one really took the unreasonability of reason as a license to believe things on faith, then which things should one believe in? if it is a license to believe in a single god who gave his son for our sins, why isn't it just as much a license to believe in zeus or all the other greek gods, or the angel moroni? or santa claus and the tooth fairy? if one says that there are good reasons to accept some entities on faith, while rejecting others, then one is saying that it is ultimately reason, not faith, that must be invoked to justify a belief.

Premise 6 has already been shown flawed by the argument from moral truth (#16) and the argument from personal purpose (#19).

(from goldstein, pages 393 and 394.)

errata

2011-01-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

::just a reminder! i've got a sci fi story published here, at electric spec, and two poems published here, at the centrifugal eye, in case you need some excellent reading material.

.::.here is charles stross, giving us a rundown on that whole wikileaks shit storm.

:::the tea party nation president says it "makes a lot of sense" to restrict voting only to property owners. just try that, motherfucker.

:.:the next time i take a flight, i will do so while wearing 4th amendment underwear. it looks like these would work well against backscatter x-rays, but i wonder how well they'd do against millimeter radar scanners. also, i will be holding up my middle fingers.

::::just when you thought american "culture" couldn't get any worse, we present you with: BRIDALPLASTY. in which stupid fucking engaged women compete for syringes of botox.

::the CALM ACT has passed congress, and will force TV providers to lower the fucking volume on their fucking commercials fucking finally.

:::i have become a fan of pomplamoose. here is why:

cute, right?

::here's stross, again, this time with some words about how we are living in a society that has already been invaded by an alien species. which forms the basis of a story i so desperately wish to write.

::remember how i told you that san francisco wants to put a toll on commuters from the peninsula? well san mateo county struck back by declaring a border war on SF. under this pressure, SF city supervisors have rescinded the proposal to further alienate themselves from the world.

..::survey shows that fox news makes you less informed. that is hardly breaking news.

::because they work, bitches:

:;the state of tennessee, in its infinite wisdom, has placed the ACLU (perhaps by mistake) on a terror watchlist.

::speaking of comic strips, this story arc of garfield from the 80s shows that jon and odie are merely figments of garfield's imagination as he slowly starves to death. this colors many formative years i have had quite differently, now that i look back on them.

::remember to keep telling people that crayons are made out of dead puppies. i like to tell that to children.

::this is a wikipedia page that all human beings should be required to read before they open their mouths.

::::are we done here? i think we're done.

argument the thirty-second: the argument from pragmatism

2011-01-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Pragmatism:
1. the consequences for the believer's life of believing should be considered as part of the evidence for the truth of the belief. call this the pragmatic evidence for the belief.
2. certain beliefs effect a change for the better in the believer's life - the necessary condition being that they are believed.
3. the belief in god is a belief that effects a change for the better in a person's life.
4. if one tries to decide whether or not to believe in god based on the evidence available, one will never get the chance to evaluate the pragmatic evidence for the beneficial consequences of believing in god (from 2 and 3).
5. one ought to make "the leap of faith" and believe in god, and only then evaluate the evidence (from 1 and 4).

this argument is ass-backwards, and comes from william james' essay "the will to believe."

Flaws: believing in god does not necessary "effect a change for the better" in a believer's life. it didn't improve galileo's life to believe that the earth moved around the sun rather than that the sun and the heavens revolve around the earth. also, catholic guilt. also, islamic law. also, mormons. &c.

the argument from pragmatism implies an extreme relativism regarding the truth. it may be pragmatic (in your life) to believe in a forgiving god who loves you unconditionally, while it may be pragmatic in someone else's life to believe in a punitive god who is there to keep him on the right track in life. but either there is a vengeful god who sends sinners to hell or there isn't. "if one allows pragmatic consequences to determine the truth, then truth becomes relative to the believer." and that's no way to run a religion.

why should we only consider the pragmatic effects on the believer's life? what about the effects on everyone else? "religion poisons everything."

the argument from pragmatism suffers from the first flaw of the argument from decision theory - that the belief in god is like a faucet that one can turn on and off as the need arises. "the will to believe" is an oxymoron: beliefs are forced on a person (ideally, by logic and evidence); they are not chosen for their consequences. (or at least, they shouldn't be.)

(from goldstein, pages 391-393.)

police watch

2011-01-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

san francisco police shot and killed a man in a wheelchair after he stabbed an officer in the shoulder.

...so there's that, then.

(police also said that the man had been hit with pepper spray and a beanbag round first, and had at one point gotten out of the wheelchair and walked around. so they weren't fighting a crippled person, they were apparently fighting the fucking terminator.)

argument the thirty-first: the argument from decision theory (pascal's wager)

2011-01-07T11:45:00.001-08:00

The Argument from Decision Theory (Pascal's Wager):
1. either god exists or god does not exist.
2. a person can either believe that god exists or believe that god does not exists (from 1).
3. if god exists and you believe, you receive eternal salvation.
4. if god exists and you don't believe, you receive eternal damnation.
5. if god doesn't exist and you believe, you've been duped, have wasted time in religious observance, and have missed out on decadent enjoyments.
6. if god doesn't exist and you don't believe, then you have avoided a false belief.
7. you have much more to gain by believing in god than by not believing in him, and much more to lose by not believing in god than by believing in him (from 3, 4, 5, and 6).
8. it is more rational to believe that god exists than to believe that he doesn't exist (from 7).

this argument does not conclude by saying "god exists." it merely tries to make the point that it is rational to believe that god exists.

Flaws: if one chooses to believe something because of the consequences of holding that belief, rather than being genuinely convinced of it, is it really a belief, or just an empty vow? the other interpretation is that it is enough to act in the way that believers act by saying prayers, going to services, and going through the other motions of religion.

which religion, then, is the one to choose in order to avoid incurring the wrath of god in the afterlife? there are so many different belief systems that one would be in constant danger of pissing off someone if one chose to live by a certain creed. the fact that pascal stated his wager as two stark choices reveals more about his own upbringing than it does about the logic of belief.

"the calculations of expected value in pascal's wager omit a crucial part of the mathematics: the probabilities of each of the two columns, which have to be multiplied with the payoff in each cell to determine the expected value of each cell." the probability of god's existence may be far lower than the probability that you are being duped, and there for it is more rational to not believe in god than to believe in him. some people may also place a high value on not living their lives under false conceptions.

(from goldstein, pages 389-390.)

argument the thirtieth: the argument from mathematical reality

2011-01-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Mathematical Reality:
1. mathematical truths are necessarily true (there is no possible world in which 2 plus 2 does not equal 4).
2. the truths that describe our physical world are empirical, requiring observational evidence.
3. truths that require empirical evidence are not necessary truths. (we require empirical evidence because there are possible worlds in which these are not truths, and we have to test that ours is not such a world.)
4. the truths of our physical world are not necessary truths (from 2 and 3).
5. the truths of our physical world cannot explain mathematical truths (from 1 and 3).
6. mathematical truths exist on a different plane of existence from physical truths (from 5).
7. only something which itself exists on a different plane of existence from the physical can explain mathematical truths (from 6).
8. only god can explain the necessary truths of mathematics (from 7).
9. god exists.

Flaws: if god can be self-explanatory, why, then, can't mathematical reality be self-explanatory? mathematical reality - if it even exists - is mysterious. but invoking god to explain it is merely an instance of the fallacy of using one mystery to explain another.

(from goldstein, pages 387-388.)

police shootings

2010-12-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

just to keep tabs on things:

"A San Leandro police officer shot and killed a woman he thought was trying to run him over in Oakland Wednesday night, police said."

and

"Police shot and killed a knife-wielding man in a home in San Francisco's Portola neighborhood Wednesday after responding to an emergency call about a stabbing, officers said."

argument the twenty-ninth: the argument from human knowledge of infinity

2010-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Human Knowledge of Infinity:
1. we are finite, and everything with which we come into physical contact is finite.
2. we have a knowledge of the infinite, demonstrable in mathematics.
3. we could not have derived knowledge of the infinite from the finite, from anything we are and come in contact with (from 1).
4. only something itself infinite could have implanted knowledge of the infinite in us (from 2 and 3).
5. god would want us to have a knowledge of the infinite, both for the cognitive pleasure it affords us and because it allows us to come to know him, who is himself infinite. [WTF?]
6. god is the only entity that is both infinite and could have an intention of implanting the knowledge of the infinite within us (from 4 and 5).
7. god exists.

Flaws: realization of the infinite can easily be discovered by counting natural numbers. any highest number you can think of can be added to by one. this can be repeated infinitely. also, circles and mobius strips.

(from goldstein, page 386.)

tired of stabbing your fingertips?

2010-12-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

i usually really hate commercials, but this one is currently my favorite.

because, seriously,

what the french toast?

the puppy place is a LIE

2010-12-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

i've got to say something about this only because i see these books every day at work. these books, with their fucking dogs on the covers.

note the caption under the title: "where every puppy finds a home."

aww. precious. PRECIOUS LIES. do you have kids? do your kids have pets? do your kids feed their pets food? if so, do your kids know that their pets are cannibals?

that's right - euthanized cats and dogs (& gerbils & rabbits & guinea pigs &c) from animal shelters are taken to rendering plants where they are churned into protein mush and tallow. the protein is made into feed for livestock, and also turned into dog and cat food.

oh yeah and the tallow is made into crayons. be sure to tell the children that, also. it may sound depressing and all, but at least it's not burning bunnies for biofuel.

christmas penny arcade tells it how it is

2010-12-27T10:00:00.001-08:00

via penny arcade

argument the twenty-eighth: the argument from prodigious genius

2010-12-26T13:54:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Prodigious Genius:
1. genius is the highest level of creative capacity, the level that, by definition, defies explanation.
2. genius does not happen by way of natural psychological processes (from 1).
3. the cause of genius must lie outside of natural psychological processes (from 2).
4. the insights of genius have helped in the cumulative progress of humankind (scientific, artistic, etc.).
5. the cause of genius must lie outside of natural psychological processes and be such as to care about the progress of humankind (from 3 and 4).
6. only god could work outside of natural psychological processes and create geniuses to light the path of humankind.
7. god exists.

Flaws: the psychological traits that go into creating a genius, such as intelligence and perseverance are heritable. by the laws of probability, rare individuals will inherit a concentrated dose of those genes. arguing that, because we don't understand enough about the human brain to exactly pinpoint genius, god is responsible for genius is the fallacy of arguing from ignorance.

not all human genius is beneficial to humankind. evil geniuses threaten the species' existence through weapons of mass destruction, carefully orchestrated genocide, and the like.

(from goldstein, page 385.)

it's not good to have imaginary friends

2010-12-21T14:59:00.000-08:00

annnnnnnnnnnnd at two minutes in:

dot dot dot

ayn rand speaks

2010-12-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

ayn rand on faith versus reason

as much as i dislike her books, her arguments here are astounding. transcript here.

prime quotes:
"I am against god for the reason that I don't want to destroy reason."
"If you go by emotions, not reason, it means you're going against reality."
"Interviewer: You've got to allow that you're not smart enough to know whether or not there's a god.

Ayn Rand: Yes. I am and everybody here is.

Interviewer: Is what?

Ayn Rand: Smart enough. It doesn't take much intelligence. Do you know why?

Interviewer: Why?

Ayn Rand: Because you are not called upon, I cannot be called upon to know a negative or to prove a negative. If there is a god and you prove it, that's fine. But you don't tell me you can't know that there isn't. I would say yes I know there isn't because I have been given no evidence."
"Well, I regard it as evil to place your emotions, your desire above the evidence of what your mind knows."
"I will not die. It's the world that will end."

argument the twenty-seventh: the argument from the upward curve of history

2010-12-20T12:05:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Upward Curve of History:
1. there is an upward moral curve to human history (tyrannies fall; the evil side loses in major wars; democracy, freedom, and civil rights spread).
2. natural selection's favoring of those who are fittest to compete for resources and mates has resulted in selfish and aggressive human traits.
3. left to their own, a selfish and aggressive species could not have ascended up a moral curve over the course of history (from 2).
4. only god has the power and the concern for us to curve history upward.
5. god exists.

Flaws: premise 1 ignores the fact that the 20th century was filled with world wars and genocide, and that such efforts are still ongoing. if this is the pinnacle of human progress, what exactly have we accomplished?

a common argument against evolution is the second law of thermodynamics, that the universe is slowly degrading into chaos and disorder. anti-evolutionists claim that, therefore, beings cannot be evolving into more perfect or improved creatures because this violates the law of entropy (this is a ridiculous argument). they claim that humanity, as evidenced by entropy, started in a perfect state in paradise and, once sin entered the world, has steadily been declining toward destruction. this is at odds with the argument from the upward curve of history. you can't argue it both ways.

as we developed traits of selfishness and aggression, humanity has also developed empathy, reasoning, and the ability to learn from experience. "we make moral progress as we do scientific progress, through reasoning, experimentation, and the rejection of failed alternatives."

(from goldstein, page 384.)

argument the twenty-sixth: the argument from the survival of the jews

2010-12-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Survival of the Jews
1. the jews introduced the world to the idea of the one god, with his universal moral code.
2. the survival of the jews, living without a country of their own and facing genocidal enemies, is a historical unlikelihood.
3. the jews have survived against vast odds (from 2).
4. there is no natural explanation for so unlikely an event as the survival of the jews (from 3).
5. the best explanation is that they have some transcendent purpose to play in human destiny (from 1 and 4).
6. only god could have assigned a transcendent destiny to the jews.
7. god exists.

Flaws: the fact that the jews were living without a country of their own, highly dispersed among a large geographical area, made it more likely that they would survive as a people, as this reduced their chances of being conquered by one of history's great empires. people dispersed across a vast diaspora are more resilient which is why other stateless people, like roma, have also survived for millennia, without a divine grace from god, or whatever.

(from goldstein, page 383.)

argument the twenty-fifth: the argument from suffering

2010-12-13T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Suffering:
1. there is much suffering in this world.
2. suffering must have some purpose, or existence would be intolerable.
3. some suffering is demanded by moral agency (caused by free will).
4. whatever suffering cannot be explains as the result of human free will must also have some purpose (from 2 and 3).
5. there are virtues that can only develop in the presence of suffering. we may call them "the virtues of suffering."
6. some suffering has the purpose of inducing the virtues of suffering (from 5).
7. even taken premises 3 and 6 into account, the amount of suffering in the world is still enormous - far more than what is required for us to benefit from suffering.
8. moreover, some who suffer can never develop the virtues of suffering - children, animals, those who die from their suffering.
9. there is more suffering than we can explain by reference to the purposes that we can discern (from 7 and 8).
10. there are purposes for suffering that we cannot discern (from 2 and 9).
11. only a being who has a sense of purpose beyond ours could provide the purpose of all suffering (from 10).
12. only god could have a sense of purpose beyond ours.
13. god exists.

Flaws: premise 12 is unfounded, as is 11, but those hardly matter. the suffering in the world is excessive, and this is a powerful argument against the existence of a compassionate and powerful deity, rather than for one. an old theological argument says:

"Is god willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is impotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Able and willing? Whence then evil?" while many people answer this by saying that evil comes by human choice, you need only to replace the word "evil" with "suffering" in order to show the precariousness of believing in a god that would allows such amounts of suffering. this argument is the central theme in god's problem, by bart ehrman.

(from goldstein, pages 382-383.)

why anti-semanticism is wrong

2010-12-12T15:21:00.000-08:00

all the nazi or fascist schoolbooks made use of an impoverished vocabulary, and an elementary syntax, in order to limit the instruments for complex and critical reasoning. but we must be ready to identify other kinds of newspeak, even if they take the apparently innocent form of a popular talk show.

-american fascists, by chris hedges

argument the twenty-fourth: the argument from perfect justice

2010-12-07T12:44:00.001-08:00

The Argument from Perfect Justice:
1. this world provides numerous instances of imperfect justice - bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people.
2. it violates our sense of justice that imperfect justice may prevail.
3. there must a transcendent realm in which perfect justice prevails (from 1 and 2).
4. a transcendent realm in which perfect justice prevails requires the perfect judge.
5. the perfect judge is god.
6. god exists.

Flaws: this is the fallacy of wishful thinking.

our sense of justice is not universal - what we consider to be good people and people, or good things and bad things, may be interpreted completely differently in other cultures or other circumstances. there cannot be an ideal transcendent realm that encompasses all of these contradictory definitions.

(from goldstein, page 381.)

local police watch

2010-12-06T11:58:00.000-08:00

Atherton police officer dean devlugt is facing charges of false arrest by the DA, as reported by the december 4-5, 2010 issue of the daily post ("news you can't get on the internet"). the charge stems from a complaint filed by jon buckheit who says that devlugt made alterations to the arrest report of another officer after it had been filed. the alterations add a second charge to buckheit, who had been arrested for domestic violence in 2008. buckheit subsequently received a finding of factual innocence from the san mateo county superior court.

fuck the police, this is confusing.

argument the twenty-third: the argument from holy books

2010-12-03T14:03:00.000-08:00

The Argument from Holy Books
1. there are holy books that reveal the word of god.
2. the word of god is necessarily true.
3. the word of god reveals the existence of god.
4. god exists.

Flaws. this is a circular argument.

holy books are mutually incompatible, and no proof is given to demonstrate the veracity of one holy book over another. "only the most arrogant provincialism could allow someone to believe that the holy documents that happen to be held sacred by the clan he was born into are true, whereas all the documents held sacred by the clans he wasn't born into are false."

(from goldstein, pages 380-381.)

argument the twenty-second: the argument from the consensus of mystics

2010-12-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Consensus of Mystics:
1. mystics go into a special state in which they seem to see aspects of reality that elude everyday experience.
2. we cannot evaluate their experiences from the viewpoint of everyday experience (from 1).
3. there is a unanimity among mystics as to what they experience.
4. when there is unanimity among observers as to what they experience then, unless they are all deluded in the same way, the best explanation is that their experiences are true.
5. there is no reason to think that mystics are all deluded in the same way.
6. the best explanation for the unanimity of mystical experience is that what mystics perceive is true (from 4 and 5).
7. mystical experiences unanimously testify to the transcendent presence of god.
8. god exists.

Flaws: there are many reasons to think that mystics are deluded in similar ways. one is the fact that we can stimulate the temporal lobes of non-mystics and induce mystical experiences. another is the feeling of transcendence that can be achieved through certain drugs.

the unanimity of experiences reported by mystics is quite like the similarity of near-death experiences, which have been demonstrated to be influenced by cultural exposure to others' accounts of the experience - that is, mystics may be repeating what other mystics before them have said without actually experiencing the same thing.

(from goldstein, pages 379-380.)

the centrifugal eye

2010-12-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

online literary mag the centrifugal eye has just gone live with its november issue (vol 5 issue 4) which is a season/calendar themed issue and features two of my poems ("cathedral bells" and "after rain") in its may section. there's also some sort of mini-interview in there. available to view online, and print versions will be available in mid-december.

electric spec

2010-11-30T18:25:00.000-08:00

online science fiction magazine ELECTRIC SPEC now has my short story "Sandcastles" up here.

napa police watch

2010-11-30T18:12:00.000-08:00

sunday, 11/28, napa police responded to a call from a neighbor about a suicidal man. after getting the man out of his house, police then tasered and shot the man to death. according to the KTVU broadcast, several neighbors reported that the man seemed to be complying with the officers, and that the sound of him being tasered and the sound of the gunshot came simultaneously.

fuck the police.

read a fucking book

2010-11-28T11:35:00.000-08:00

because i learned how to read before i learned how to EAT

the sequel to two girls, one cup

animals should definitely not wear clothing

for their illustrations, i recommend:

and

read a fucking book instead of corporate advertising:
(taken at a urinal)

and i don't know what this means, but it's probably good advice:

errata

2010-11-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

::the what?

::zeppelin/sabbath mashup:

::cursebird tracks how much you fucking swear on twitter. (and it gives you points!)

::my short story "text based" is appearing in issue 34 of Aoife's Kiss, on sale now.

::elderly people given full sugar lemonade expressed fewer racist sentiments than those given diet lemonade. this backs up what i've been saying for a long time - old people suck.

::the evolution of batman logos:

::Take me down to the paradise municipality / where the grass is mauve and the girls aren't fromthisreality (xkcd=love)

::reverend billy, he who extols us to "STOP SHOPPING" lest we bring about the shopocalypse, was in SF as part of his tour to tell us that mickey mouse is the anti-Christ. I agree with much of his doctrine except for the identity of the anti-Christ. James Patterson does the devil's work.

::motherfucking croc on a motherfucking plane kills 19 passengers.

::in an incredible feat of self-awareness, big-time retailers finally acknowledge that consumerism turns people into actual fucking zombies.

::augmented reality is pretty cool. so are TIE fighters. therefore. this is fucking awesome:

::the idea of a one-electron universe is really interesting. you should read more about it.

::this quiz gives you a rough estimate of what generation you belong to.

::a comparison of republican to democrat tax plans:

::warren ellis leads a discussion board demanding examples of a steampunk batman.

::it is entirely possible that this movie will completely suck, but the cast is amazing:

not only olivia wilde (HOT), daniel craig, and harrison ford, but also my most favorite underrated actor ever, sam rockwell.

::san francisco wants to charge a toll for people traveling between the city and the peninsula, an extra three dollars each way. because SF wants to actually be an island? i can't imagine how that will hurt businesses in SF who rely on the massive influx of people from all over the bay area.

::the wealth inequality in america has turned this country into, essentially, a banana republic (see tax plans above).

::the plays of william shakespeare, as two-panel comic strips. macbeth and a midsummer night's dream were the best.

argument the twenty-first: the argument from the consensus of humanity

2010-11-17T11:18:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Consensus of Humanity:
1. every culture has had theistic beliefs.
2. when people, separated by space and time, hold similar beliefs, the best explanation is that those beliefs are true.
3. the best explanation for why every culture has had theistic beliefs is that those beliefs are true.
4. god exists.

Flaws: the problem with premise 2 is that widely separated people could easily come up with the same false beliefs. many of the needs and terrors of being human (such as the knowledge of our own mortality and our desire not to die) are universal, which goes further towards explaining similar beliefs than one god. "the fallacy of arguing that if an idea is univerally held then it must be true was labeled by the ancient logicians consensus gentium." truth is not statistical.

argument the twentieth: the argument from the intolerability of insignificance

2010-11-16T11:07:00.000-08:00

The Argument from the Intolerability of Insignificance:
1. in a million years, nothing that happens now will matter.
2. by the same token, anything that happens at any point in time will not matter from the point of view of a time a million years distant from it in the future.
3. no point in time can confer mattering on any other point, for each suffers from the same problem of not mattering itself (from 2).
4. it is intolerable (or inconceivable, or unacceptable) that in a million years nothing that happens will matter.
5. what happens now will matter in a milliont years (from 4).
6. it is only from the point of view of eternity that what happens now will matter even in a million years (from 3).
7. only god can inhabit the point of view of eternity.
8. god exists.

Flaws: well the main flaw boils down to "tough shit." but to expound: even the book of ecclesiastes, from the bible, states that everything is meaningless and nothing that is done now will matter or be remembered after a certain amount of time has passed. and if the bible says it, it must be true, right?

premise 4 is an example of the fallacy of wishful thinking.

(from goldstein, pages 377-378.)

argument the nineteenth: the argument from personal purpose

2010-11-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

these next two arguments get into some ecclesiastical realm of existence - naggingly depressing, but overall honest.

The Purpose from Personal Purpose:
1. if there is no purpose to a person's life, then that person's life is pointless.
2. human life cannot be pointless.
3. each human life has a purpose (from 1 and 2).
4. the purpose of each individual person's life must derive from the overall purpose of existence.
5. there is an overall purpose of existence (from 3 and 4).
6. only a being who understands the overall purpose of existence could create such a person according to the purpose that person is meant to fulfill.
7. only god could understand the overall purpose of creation.
8. there can be a point to human existence only if god exists (from 6 and 7).
9. god exists.

Flaws: "the first premise rests on a confusion between the purpose of an action and the purpose of a life. it is human activities that have purposes - or don't."

premise 2 can be answered with, "why not?" "it's important not to confuse the notion of 'pointless' in premise 2 with notions like 'not worth living' or 'expendable.'" (though the expendability of human life may be a harsh reality with which we have not yet come to grips.)

(from goldstein, pages 376-377.)

meanwhile

2010-11-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

"meanwhile some wild-eyed young man alone and unknown in a room will be writing things that will make you forget everybody else except maybe the young man to follow after him."
-bukowski

black friday sale

2010-11-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

(via boingboing)

argument the eighteenth: the argument from free will

2010-11-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

The Argument from Free Will:
1. having free will means having the freedom to choose our actions, rather than having them determined by some prior cause.
2. if we don't have free will, then we are not agents, for then we are not really acting, but we are being acted upon.
3. to be a moral agent means to be held morally responsible for what one does.
4. if we can't be held morally responsible for anything we do, then the very idea of morality is meaningless.
5. morality is not meaningless.
6. we have free will (from 2-5).
7. we, as moral agents, are not subject to the laws of nature - in particular, the neural events in a genetically and environmentally determined brain (from 1 and 6).
8. only a being who is apart from the laws of nature and partakes of the moral sphere could explain our being moral agents (from 7).
9. only god is a being who is apart from the laws of nature and partakes of the moral sphere.
10. only god can can explain our moral agency (from 8 and 9).
11. god exists.

Flaws: premise 7 is negated by the paradoxical fork of free will (which you will have to look up on your own because it's too complicated and boring for me to type up here).

premise 10 again is the fallacy of using one mystery to explain another, which gets us nowhere.

it is entirely possible, though distasteful, that we are just cogs in a deterministic universe, and therefore premise 5 is false, and morality is meaningless. we cannot discount the possibility just because it depresses us.

though it is possible, it is not probable that we live in a deterministic universe, since the fuzziness of reality at the quantum level makes such clockwork mechanics fall apart. speculation into the amount of effect that the quantum level plays in our cognitive reasoning and decision-making processes (indeed, in the very existence of our consciousness to begin with) shows us that we can have free will (or, the ability to make unpredictable decisions) without straying from the laws of the physical world.

(from goldstein, pages 375-376.)

argument the seventeenth: the argument from altruism

2010-10-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

The Argument from Altruism:
1. people often act altruistically (helping others against their own interests).
2. natural selection can never favor true altruism, because genes for selfishness will always out-compete genes for altruism.
3. only a force acting outside of natural selection and intending for us to be moral could account for altruism (from 2).
4. god is the only force outside of natural selection that could intend for us to be moral.
5. god must have implanted the moral instinct within us (from 3 and 4).
6. god exists.

Flaws: evolution of altruism by natural selection has been theorized for decades. a gene for helping one's offspring, even if it hurts the person doing the favor, can be favored by evolution, because that act would go a long ways toward perpetuating that person's gene line, which is the true goal of evolution, not the preservation of an individual person. altruism can also arise in the long run when a creature recognizes that acts of goodwill done to people around them will encourage reciprocating acts of goodwill in the future.

we have evolved higher mental functions that allow us to reflect on the world and see it from another person's point of view. "we are capable of moral reasoning because we are capable of reasoning in general."

religious people don't have a monopoly on altruism, and their brand of altruism is no less selfless than a secular version. religious altruism is often undertaken to gain a reward or to avoid a punishment in the afterlife. they are, therefore, acting selfishly, not selflessly.

(from goldstein, pages 373-374.)

evolution of the geek

2010-10-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

click for full

via flowtown

argument the sixteenth: the argument from moral truth

2010-10-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

The Argument from Moral Truth:
1. there exist objective moral truths. (slavery and torture and genocide are not just distasteful to us, but are actually wrong.)
2. these objective moral truths are not grounded in the way the world is but in the way the world ought to be.
3. the world itself cannot account for the way the world ought to be.
4. the only way to account for morality is that god established morality (from 2 and 3).
5. god exists.

Flaws: premise 1 is false, because there are no objective moral truths. the bible itself admits as much in one of paul's letters, where he says (and i paraphrase) if something you do causes a brother to stumble, do not do that thing in his presence, even if you don't find it wrong. which sets different standards, it seems, for moral actions. premise 1 also fails because god condones and encourages genocide, slavery, and torture in the very bible from which many christians draw their morality.

the jump from premise 3 to 4 is unfounded. there are many ways to account for morality without having to refer to god. see the book good without god among others. a code of morality and ethics can evolve as a society grows in order to promote group cohesion and encourage longer and better life for all its participants.

(from goldstein. pages 371 to 372.)

my spoon is too big

2010-10-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

Xiao Hao is much larger than his classmates.

without comment, from sfgate.

police watch coast to coast

2010-10-17T14:38:00.000-07:00

first up in new jersey - two camden police officers face several corruption charges, the most serious charge for both being conspiracy to violate the civil rights of a citizen. authorities say the officers stole drugs from some suspects, planted them on others, threatened to plant them on more in order to coerce cooperation, paid informants with drugs, and kept some for their own use. They're also accused of conducting illegal searches, giving false testimony and filing false reports between 2007 and last year. this led authorities to dismiss more than 200 criminal cases.

in arizona, phoenix officer Chrisman allegedly pulled his pistol, put it against 29-year-old Danny Frank Rodriguez's head and told him he didn't need a warrant when Rodriguez ordered him out of his house on Oct. 5. During the next few minutes, Chrisman shocked Rodriguez with a stun gun, shot his pit bull, then fatally shot Rodriguez. this was all witnessed by another officer on the scene, who said he hadn't seen any reason for chrisman to fire his weapon. chrisman faces second-degree murder charges.

and finally, a santa clara police officer was arrested for passing on DMV information to a member of the santa cruz chapter of the hell's angels.

fuck the police.

argument the fifteenth: the argument from the inconceivability of personal annihilation

2010-10-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

The Argument from the Inconceivability of Personal Annihilation:
1. i cannot conceive of my own annihilation. as soon as i start to think about what it would be like not to exist, i am thinking, which implies that i would exist, which implies that i would not be thinking about what is like not to exist.
2. my annihilation is inconceivable (from 1).
3. what cannot be conceived, cannot be.
4. i cannot be annihilated (from 2 and 3).
5. i survive my own death (from 4).

the argument now followed the argument from survival after death, until:

6. god exists.

Flaws: "premise 2 confuses psychological inconceivability with logical inconceivability." this argument hinges merely on semantics - it is wordplay, not a proof, "a failure of the imagination, not an impossible state of affairs." premise 2 should say "my annihilation is inconceivable to me."

(from goldstein, pages 370 and 371.)

Book of Tangents

found poetry

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

the university of kafka

railed!

the anti-capitalist bible :: new testament

the anti-capitalist bible :: old testament

kaleidotrope

jones av. again

just a bit of human contact

oakland police filmed hiding their identification while on duty

a brief biography

go the fuck to the library

too long to twitter

elevated envelopes

newspeak

abbey speaks

qwantz.com

8bit and cellular automata

WARNING

too long to twitter

policewatch::infodump

i am honored

an innocent blowjob

chiron review and decanto

and you're all right

isaac asimov confirms to me that libraries are spaceships

webby

that's hot.

redditor

the clock of the long now

fuck the police medics

errata

no substitute for a library

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

man, i would fucking spear them to death, too

how to save the world in 3 easy steps :OR: i appear to lose my shit

four fingers

le wrath di khan

Librarians Against DRM

corrupt SFPD caught on tape

six degrees of separation: velociraptor to kevin bacon

jones av.

books are weapons in the war of ideas

black helicopters

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

happy darwin day

Bill Text112th Congress (2011-2012)H.RES.81.IH

crashfaster at the EFF

anemone sidecar

here's a reason to exhibit anger towards the police

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

argument the thirty-sixth: the argument from the abundance of arguments

library blog: what's the point?

classified laughter

argument the thirty-fifth: the argument from the intelligibility of the universe

sexual conversations i have had with women with whom i have not had sex

killers with badges

argument the thirty-fourth: the argument from sublimity

boy uses creed to fend off wolves

MARKETING IS LIES

the world will end on may 21, 2011

fuck the police, because they're going to literally rape you

argument the thirty-third: the argument from the unreasonableness of reason

errata

argument the thirty-second: the argument from pragmatism

police watch

argument the thirty-first: the argument from decision theory (pascal's wager)

argument the thirtieth: the argument from mathematical reality

police shootings

argument the twenty-ninth: the argument from human knowledge of infinity

tired of stabbing your fingertips?

the puppy place is a LIE

christmas penny arcade tells it how it is

argument the twenty-eighth: the argument from prodigious genius

it's not good to have imaginary friends

ayn rand speaks

argument the twenty-seventh: the argument from the upward curve of history

argument the twenty-sixth: the argument from the survival of the jews

argument the twenty-fifth: the argument from suffering

Bill Text
112th Congress (2011-2012)
H.RES.81.IH